Remember this post? "Is 4 It?" Well, it's so amazing how you can pray and ask God to make things clear and guess what...He does for heaven's sake. Crazy how that works.
Alright, so today I'm going to share my thoughts on where I am with this all now. I realize that some of you, as with the last post about this, just may not give a flip. Just don't read this post. I am all about sharing as you well know, though, so here goes...
You have to realize where I am at this point...END OF PREGNANCY. As I told Joel the other day, we really are going to have to re-evaluate after the baby is born and after I've recovered. We are constantly re-evaluating things anyway...that's what growth is all about. BUT, having said that, at the same time...I've never felt the way I do now...even when in the middle of labor, even when having some major complications during recovery, etc. I've never said "We're done" or "I'm never doing that again" or even "Let's take a break." So, seems like this is for real.
Alright, are you ready?
:-)
The suspense is killing me.
Hurry up already.
:-)
Alright, I'll tell you tomorrow.
Ha ha ha. Just kidding.
We still have no idea how many biological children we will have and how many adopted children we will have. But, I am thinking and feeling that it is break time. I'm feeling a need to "catch up" if you will. We've popped out 4 kiddos in 4 years and 2 months. Again, I've always felt ready for whatever, whenever. I never felt the need for a break. After Eissa, I would've been fine with a break, but it didn't happen and that was totally fine with me. But now...I want a break. I am feeling definite peace about a break. I feel, honestly, that God is putting that feeling in me (because, again...have never felt this before). I don't think my body is done completely...but, I think it is screaming "RECESS!!" :-) (And honestly, given the status of my health a couple of weeks ago, maybe my body really is screaming at me to take a break)
I am looking forward to this season to see what will happen...these are all my predictions and thoughts on the matter, that is, if God really does give us a break. Our 4 that we have now will be able to grow a little. I will be able to be focussed on them more and more full-time (the last couple of months of pregnancy, I'm just not able to do the things with them that I normally do). They will get me...all of me. I will get me...all of me. :-) Ha ha ha. And, so will Joel...he really does alot and takes over in areas, esp. at the end of pregnancy and during recovery, when I just can't do it. It's nice to get your body back (and all that entails...energy, "new" old clothes, ability to get down on the floor and wrestle around with your kids, ability to sleep on your belly...ahh...or your back for that matter...another ahh, etc.).
We plan to maybe go on furlough around November 2009, give or take a few months. At that point we will have a 5 1/2 yr. old, a 4 1/2 yr. old, a 3 yr. old, and this baby will be 20 months. Hmmm...you know, if I don't get this break that I'm talking about, we will probably have to change that schedule for furlough. The most I've had between babies is 19 months. :-)
Anyway, even the possibility of being pregnant when coming home on furlough...it would be nice to not have to schedule travels around a birth. I, in no way, consider babies an inconvenience. If a baby is given, I think that it's because God meant it to be given and He wants us to be focussed on all the good things, not the inconveniences. But, truthfully, sometimes the circumstances surrounding babies can be inconvenient. If this break doesn't happen, believe me, I will know that it's God's plan and that He will definitely give us contentment and meet our every need. But, again...I just think it's time.
Another thing that I'm looking forward to...adoption. Joel has said all along that he feels like we will have this baby and then the next one (at least...maybe more than the next one) will be adopted. I'd love to have this baby, adopt a set of twins, and then come home for furlough (so the family could meet all the new ones). :-) Ha ha ha. Sounds like a good plan to me (I know you think I'm crazy...it's O.K.). I don't think that's possible though...just not enough time. Two babies on furlough (or even one) might be crazy, but with adoption I would be in tip top shape, I wouldn't be nursing them (i.e. they wouldn't have to be with me every second of every day), we wouldn't have to schedule around being pregnant or giving birth, etc.
Gosh, I am SO RAMBLING in this post, but just a little view inside my head these days. It'll be exciting to see what God does...whatever He does (truly, it's all up to Him, isn't it?).
P.S. Because all of you are probably wondering, I wanted to let you know that there is nothing going on with this body of mine. Just in waiting mode (but totally at peace and not impatient at all just so you know...whenever is good with us). I will go back to the doctor tomorrow. And, still no box from the midwife either...keep praying. Thanks.
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4 comments:
This might be a bit personal, but do you and Joel practice NFP?
Good question. And it is personal, but you know I don't care about that. Ha ha ha.
We, honestly, are still considering and praying about all options as far as all of that goes. We practiced NFP TO GET pregnant, but have never done it to NOT get pregnant. I would take my basal met. temp. every morning, chart my temps., and do all the other stuff that goes along with that. It truly can and does work, I'm assuming for the people who want to "prevent" too. We're not sure what we are going to do, if anything.
Of course that opens up a whole other can of worms discussion. Some say it's like the law of gravity, which I totally disagree with...being intimate with your husband doesn't mean you are going to end up pregnant. Of course there are the people who struggle with infertility. But also, there are people who have had several children in a row. Then, for whatever reason, God doesn't allow them to get pregnant again...sometimes ever, sometimes just for a period of time...whatever. It's awesome the testimonies I've heard about all that.
Anyhoo, so that's where we are. Before we started the whole process of trying to have children, I took 'the pill.' We are not opposed to the pill in and of itself, as long as it's one that doesn't have abortive actions. We quite honestly might even go back to that IF THAT'S WHAT GOD LEADS US TO. But again...that opens up a whole other can of worms discussion...lots of people don't agree with that. There are 2 extremes and many opinions and beliefs along that line between the extremes. But, again...that's just where we are now...still in the praying about it phase.
Ha ha ha. Who's to say I won't be pregnant with #5 before we get our answer...which of course WOULD then be the answer. :)
Sounds like you are seeking Him and I know He will guide the two of you! Either way it will be fun to see God's plan to grow your family...with pregnancy or adoption! :) His plans are the BEST!
~ Ali
Please pardon a stranger's interruption into your conversation. I came across your blog when searching for the meaning of the name Isa. I have enjoyed reading some of your posts and have found that we have much in common! I hope you don't mind me sharing this with you. I know this is a very hot issue for many, because of its nature. A while back, when I heard someone mention that the pill caused abortions, I began to research it to find the truth. I came across a book by Randy Alcorn with extensive research on the subject and I read it through with deep grief and weeping. There is no pill in existence that does not include the third mechanism of aborting your baby if it is conceived after the pill fails to suppress ovulation or thicken the mucus (and those first two mechanisms have a 50% failure rate). But this is not the kind of thing to take someone's word for (obviously too much of that has been done). Randy's book and research can be ordered or read online (the full content or a condensed article) at http://www.epm.org/bcp.html.
Again, please forgive me for intruding, but I felt compelled to share this so that you would know and be able to take this into consideration as you seek the Lord in these decisions. May our Lord continue to bless you and your family as you trust in Him and bring glory to His name through your lives!!
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