Joel was asked yet again the other day, "Why are y'all having such a large family?"
This is the answer that we've come up with that pretty much stops people in their tracks. We tell them that God hasn't told us to stop having children. We ask them if God told them to stop at just 2, or if that was just the status quo (just what people do) and so they thought that was the responsible thing to do. Did they really pray about it? Did they truly hear God clearly about not having more children, or did they just do what was convenient and logical.
The convenient and logical thing for us to do would be to stop having children...hello. That is pretty much a no-brainer. Let our kids grow and become more independent so that we can do more things independently too, rather than starting over all the time...sleepless nights, diapers galore, laundry out the wazoo. It would be less expensive to do things like take a furlough. It would be way more convenient to find a place to stay when we do go on furlough. We would need less support probably. These are things that, we esp. (since we are missionaries), hear.
The other day I was talking to another missionary lady. We were talking about when we planned to go on our first furlough and for how long we would stay. I said something about how there were so many factors leading to the answer to that question and told her a few. One of the things I mentioned was that "I think too, will I be pregnant again at that point and delivering in the states?" She laughed and asked incredulously, "How many kids do you plan to have?" I told her we didn't know yet. She said, "Well, it's a lot of work." Really? Gosh, I hadn't noticed. :-)
Seriously, of course it is. But, I don't think I'll be making the decision to limit the amount of children God wants to give me on the basis that it's hard work. How lame.
Gone are the days where having a large family is looked upon as a great thing...and by large, these days, that means 3-4 kids. Ridiculous.
It boils down to this...God will tell us when he's done with my uterus. :-) He hasn't told us that yet. It's that simple.
By the way, Happy Valentine's Day!!
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11 comments:
Great words. I was just telling Johan that I find it hard to be honest with people when they "second guess" our decisions that we know God has called us to make. Such a hard thing to challenge them with that because I don't want to cause people grief over their past decisions. But, I know if I was more bold and cared less about what people thought about me, then maybe God would use my question of, "Did God lead you to that decision?" Maybe they'd be challenged in a new way to follow God's lead for every decision. If we are ready to hear God, then it couldn't be a bad thing! It's tough here too to have more kids than the prescribed American 2, but we are only on our third for Pete's sake!
We love you guys. Pray for us. I think today might be the day. I'm praying that things won't stop and will go quickly. ;-)
Michawn---
I love your honesty & boldness--"When God is done with my uterus?" That's priceless...You should write a book about childbirthing/rearing & title it that!!
I can't wait to see how many gorgeous children you do end up having, and how God is going to use them to bless others & fulfill His plan!
Tell that uterus to keep chuggin' along...it's doing a fine job.
-Crystal
P.S. to Joel--Good job to you too! I suppose you had some part in all of this baby stuff.
here's a new answer..."aint none of your business but thanks for asking". i tend to be on the more blunt side of life sometimes. but your answer was way better than mine:)
love ya and all your chillens ya have and are gonna have and are gonna adopt, oh and joel, too:)
I think it's really special that God has called you and Joel to have a great impact by advancing his kingdom through all the mighty men and women of God that you will disciple in your family. I agree that many pple chose the number of children they will have based on their human reasoning and also what is socially acceptable.
But I also think that many people of God have smaller families based on the fact that God has a different mission for them as a family. Since there is only so much time, energy and resources we have based on our human limitations. Some of us are called to have a greater ministry out of the home, whereas others by virtue of large families, their main area of ministry is within their home. If we're to reach the whole world we need to heed Gods specific calling for our lives! But i can see how it must be frustrating to have pple act like you're crazy for having lots of kids...
I can't wait to meet each and eveyone of the kids God will add to your family (which is my family too) Very exciting!
I LOVE big families. So much fun and a blessing. Sorry to hear other people have been telling you their negative comments. I hate it when people do that. It's not their place to put their opinions on you. Love you.
I think more and more, large families are becoming disgusted with the unfair questions. As childless couple get frustrated with the "When..." questions.
It is so interesting to me that people think we are irresponsible or stupid. Have you noticed that? People look at you like you are an idiot for having so many children? The nerve!
Anyway, I love not knowing how many gifts God will give me. I have so many supportive friends, that when I get discouraged, I run to them. I seek them out and they lift me up. I know they know God, and that is Who I need to be my support.
I am learning to rebuke people for the sake of my children. People who say things like, "You're gonna have your hands full when they're teenagers," need to be slapped. Honestly, to speak evil over my children is unacceptable. We have to stand up for our God given gifts and be sure the world does not curse them.
I love you, Michawn, and my uterus ain't done yet either!
You knew I would have to comment on this one. Even though my uterus is done, my heart is not.... I have shared with several people lately that we are always open to adoption and I get the same "are you crazy?" look. Just lately the greeter at church ask me and Thad if we had enough kids as we were walking in for Sunday morning service. I really don't think that others realize how crude they sound. You are free to use my line too. Just tell them "oh, at least 10 more" and that shuts them up. I like your approach. Its honest and to the point. I just have to say "YOU GO GIRL!"
I admire your view on children. I have a friend who is one of 11 children, and her parents share the same view on child birth. Honestly, coming from a "large" family, I have to say the sacrifices my parents have made were well worth it. I wouldn't do it any other way. Now what we are older, it's so nice to have sibilings close in age to go through life with. And having 4 sibilings adds sooo much the dynamics of my family. I couldn't imagin a family with any less siblings. I've heard it said too, that with smaller families, you are able to do more together, such as going out to eat, or on vacations. While this is true I think people miss out on much more when they sacrifice family for comfort (having a lg family vs $ to splurg on sm. family) Having a large family forces you to be creative, thus producing memories that last a lifetime!
So thankful God has blessed you with each of your kids and can't wait to meet more of you and Joel's kiddos down the road! I love your growing family! Sorry, you're getting lots of noisy questions! I hope those questioning are not mean spirited or judgemental with their questions. Hopefully, people are just curious and surprised to see something different (but great) family size wise! I bet your new answer will challenge and inspire others to seek God with their family planning decisions! :) In my opinon...4 kids (where you'll be size wise in about a month) isn't so big! I grew up with 4 kids in my family and it was GREAT! But, 4 kids isn't really that big compared to some of the families at my church! :) I think most importantly you guys are seeking God and not seeking man approval on your future family growth! :)
~ Ali
I will love and cherish them everyone. I'll be excited over the last one as I was excited over the first. Our family loves babies so much anyway. We have never been without a baby for years and years - starting with Michawn.
I think some people just don't realize how they sound. Some are just making conversation - as bad as it may be. But it is really no one's business but your's and Joel's.
Love you!
Granny Madden
Oh my goodness, I have never gotten such support on my blog for having a large family! Where do you get your readers???
:)
Michawn, I particularly admire you for having a large family and being missionaries. You don't see a lot of that these days...most mission agencies I know of put lots of pressure on their missionaries to NOT have many children.
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