Now that I’m done with the story of how Joel and I got together, I just felt like I needed to elaborate. I talked a lot about the incredible teaching that I got after college and how it was so different than anything I had ever heard before. So, I don’t feel like I should just move on to something else in this blog until that is cleared up a bit. If it’s so awesome, I need to put feet to it. Lots of times people have basic concepts or get the jist of things from testimonies even, but aren’t equipped with the tools to actually walk something out. I don’t want to be irresponsible, so I wanted to just kind of write out some of the basic teaching that we got that rocked my little world.
There are two main parts of scripture that can be drawn from. Obviously there are in reality big chunks of scripture throughout the Bible and then also just common sense, almost psychology/communication skills 101 kind of stuff that can be learned from a great deal too. But, for the purpose of this blog, I felt like I would just focus on these two areas of the Word. One is Genesis 24 and the other is the whole book of Song of Solomon.
Today we’ll look at Gen. 24. I definitely recommend that you read it yourself, but here are the "cliff notes" of the story…
This is the story of Isaac being brought together with his wife. Funny thing is that Isaac was basically unaware of what was going on. Abraham tells his oldest and most trusted servant to go to his homeland and find a wife for his son Isaac. The servant, Eliezer, goes. Long story short (you can read it yourself), he does. He brings her back and they hook it up. :-)
But, I want to go through it and give you some of the main points. There are lots, but man, it’s good.
1. Do not settle for less than God’s best for you; do not compromise – v. 1-8
--Abraham told his servant to go to the land of his family. He did not want Isaac marrying outside the family. Of course that was common in those days, but the real motivation was so they wouldn’t marry some pagan neighbor. It’s symbolic for us in that we should obviously not marry outside our "family" either (non-Christians…do not be unequally yoked). But also that goes further than just making sure you marry a Christian. There are definitely different “degrees” of Christians…you want to marry someone that is on the same page, is headed the same direction…if you are in full pursuit of God (which hopefully you are), you better marry someone who is also in full pursuit of God. If not, you will be unequally yoked. Do not compromise.
2. Do not worry; be confident in God; He will prepare the way – v.7
--Eliezer was like, “what if I can’t find one, what if I do find one, but she won’t come with me…what if, what if…” (obvious paraphrase). Lots of times those “what if’s” get us in trouble, right? It’s good to be prepared and think ahead, but it’s also good to know that we can’t answer the what if’s of life…but, God is in control and will take care of us and will provide where He leads us. We do not need to worry or try to manipulate circumstances ourselves. All we have to do is rest in Him. Rest and relax.
3. Go to God; let Him be in charge - v. 12-14
--Eliezer totally went to God. He trusted Him fully. He knew he had a job to do and put it in God's hands. He didn't try to manipulate his circumstances. He didn't try to rush things. Timing is so huge. God knows, in the realm of relationships, what you are going to be doing 10, 15, 20 years from now. He is the only one who can know who you are going to need as your partner so that you can help each other accomplish the things that He has called each of you to. Wait...don't rush. HE will do it...not you.
4. Have a servant's heart - v. 15-20
--Rebekah came to draw water. She saw the man in need. She offered to water his camels...and not only to give them a sip, but to water them until they had had enough. Camels drink alot of water if you don't know. In fact, 20 gallons at a time is nothing for a camel. There were 10 camels with Eliezer. Yep, that's 200 gallons of water that chic hauled. I'd say she had a servant's heart. She wasn't thinking about what she could get out of it. It's not like Eliezer was some fine, good-looking prince or anything. She had no idea what his agenda was. He was an old servant. A servant's heart...she was just serving.
5. Watch and wait - v. 21
--Eliezer had asked God to show him who he was supposed to take as Isaac's wife by this very act...watering his camels. But, did Eliezer pick her up, put her across his camel, and head back to Abraham's house? No...he watched, he waited. He wanted to make sure that this was God. There were other requirements that she needed to fill...other things that God needed to make clear. There was no rash-ness in Eliezer. He was a man that waited on God. Lots of times there are things that seem right at first, but are in reality not the right way to go. Prov. 14:12 - "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death."
6. Praise and worship; have a mind that is set on Him - v. 26-27
--Once Rebekah's situation had fit the standard (she had watered his camels, she was a part of Abraham's family after all, etc.), what did Eliezer do? He praised God. Now, he didn't know for sure that Rebekah was going to return with him, but he was just praising God for His favor so far. His mind, his eyes were set on Him, not straying, not being tempted to look to Rebekah or her family or his own strength. He was totally relying on God and praising Him for what He'd done.
7. Spiritual covering and authority are very important - v. 29-33
--You saw in our story how covered we were. Boy, were we covered. And man, how wonderful it was. Me and Joel didn't have to worry about trying to figure it out on our own. We had so many people speaking into our lives and truly caring about us and wanting for us what God had for us. It was so incredibly amazing. When you have people like that in your lives, it is easy and relaxing to trust them and submit to that authority.
I realize that it is quite rare. Even if you are willing and wanting to submit to that kind of authority in your life, not many people are willing and wanting to be that authority. I think, personally, that the reason for that is a combo of authority being misused in some people in some places and also maybe even just a lack of responsibility. Nobody wants to "interfere." Nobody wants to stick their necks out. It is quite rare.
But, it is also quite biblical. Here in this story, Solomon guiding his sons all throughout Proverbs, Jesus with his disciples, Paul with Timothy and his other "followers,"...not to mention all the instuctions in the Word to teach others...as a girl, I always think of the Titus 2 mandate. We are supposed to help one another, speak into each others' lives. It is super important that we "interfere." :-) In order for that to work, there must be a teachable spirit in all of us. If we are teachable, whether we are the teacher or one being taught, it will work.
Here in Gen. 24, Rebekah had a wealth of covering in her own family. Her brother, Laban, was her main authority/covering. In these verses, who is talking? Laban. He is definitely watching his sister's back. He is sticking his neck out. This isn't to say that a girl can never speak. There is a time and a place for everything. This isn't about a girl/guy thing anyway...it's not like Isaac is saying much...he's not even there...he's oblivious to the whole thing. But, Laban is the covering...her protection.
Accountability can also fall into a similar category. But, it is touched on and highlighted more in-depth in Song of Solomon, so I'll wait for that to go into accountability.
8. Agreement the Lord was directing - v. 50-51
--After hearing the testimony of Eliezer, both Laban (Rebekah's brother) and Bethuel (her dad) agreed that surely this was the Lord's leading. They both agreed and gave their blessing. When it's God's timing, you won't be the only one to think so. If you are...if your covering, your authority, your accountability don't agree...probably not God. Now, you can't have people that aren't really hearing God as your covering. If you just say that your parents are you covering (because they are your God-given covering up to a certain degree), but they aren't even Christians or they aren't really walking that kind of Christianity out where they are hearing specific things from God, they don't work as the kind of covering you need. That might seem harsh and it's not that you aren't supposed to still listen to them and honor them. But, I'm just saying that they can't be your crutch for being in a relationship you shouldn't be in...the whole "my parents say they agree with it" thing. If they agree with it, but aren't really tuned into God and what He would have for you...that "agreement" is just not valid. I'm sure you know what I mean in this point. But, bottom line is that you have to have the right covering and it will be a huge red flag if there is not total and full agreement within all of your covering/authority/accountability.
9. Worship, praise, and thanksgiving - v. 52
--Eliezer, always giving praise and credit to the only One who deserves it. Always with his eyes and heart focused where they need to be...on Who they need to be focused on.
10. Obedient heart - v. 55-58
--Teachable heart. I dare say that people would probably avoid about 95% of their problems if they just had a teachable heart. It's something to constantly keep in check. Joel is the best example of this that I've ever seen. He's amazing. The normal, flesh reaction to correction is to get defensive. Even in cases where Joel is getting correction from people that is totally incorrect, he receives it, prays about it...doesn't react in the flesh, but truly displays the character of Christ, taking it in and making sure he learns what he needs to from others. He's a GREAT example for me. In these verses, everyone displays teachability. The family wants Rebekah to stay longer, but Eliezer doesn't want to delay his return any longer. The family then says they will ask Rebekah...they don't "buck up" to Eliezer's requests. They don't demand their own way. They truly want to act in God's timing and are teachable in hearing Eliezer and what he thinks they should do. Rebekah humbly says she will go with Eliezer. So, the family sends her off with a blessing. God's purpose made whole...through obedient, teachable hearts.
Now these final two points show the "posture" of Isaac and Rebekah. It shows their character. It's so fun and interesting to me to see.
11. Be about your Father's business - v. 63
--What in the world was Isaac doing this whole time? Well, what he was doing the evening Eliezer and Rebekah returned is probably a good indication of what he did regularly. v. 63 says that he was taking a walk out in the fields, meditating. The Amplified Bible says that "Isaac went out to meditate and bow down [in prayer]." He was not out trying to hussle up some huzzy. :-) He wasn't wringing his hands, impatient for a wife. He was just walking peacefully in prayer. He was resting in his Father. Did he even know what was going on...where Eliezer was? I don't know. I don't think so personally. But, he was focused on God, that we can tell.
One of the pictures John Graves used to give us in Life Challenge was this one: You are running full on for God, looking to Him. You look over and lo and behold, there's someone running right about the same place you are to your right. But, you glance quickly and put your eyes back on God, running hard for Him. After a while more, you glance over again and for heaven's sake, they are still there. You just keep running. After a while, you realize that this person is just still there, with his/her eyes set on God, but running at the same pace as you, running the same way as you, having goals and life callings that line up with yours. Isn't that a great picture? After all those things line up, is that your spouse? Well, you have to keep your eyes on God for that one. You have to wait like Eliezer did. You have to see if God gives you the go-ahead or not. But, the point is this...KEEP YOUR EYES ON GOD. Don't get distracted by what is to your left or right. If you'll notice, you will always go where your eyes are looking. Don't try that in the car next time you are driving along...it is dangerous. But, as hard as you try not to (in your own strength I might add), where your eyes are focused, that is where you will eventually go. So, if you are running with your eyes fixed on God and then you glance over and see that person to your right, but you don't just glance, you start to stare, you start to focus on that person...you will start to veer...veer away from the straight path you are on to God...you will end up merging into that person's lane, even if you are trying not to...even if you are trying to still go the other way but with your eyes looking that person's way. Isn't it amazing how God's principles all have practical examples in the "laws of nature" like this one? Again I say, KEEP YOUR EYES ON GOD.
12. Modesty, respect, humble spirit - v. 65
--This is just a good picture of a quiet and gentle spirit to me. Rebekah asks who that was in the field. Eliezer told her and she quickly got off her camel and covered her face with her veil. She wasn't forward and obnoxious. And I don't mean that if you talk you are forward and obnoxious. But, she was just very respectful and humble...and modest. I'm sure Isaac thought it was really sweet and I'm sure he felt honored and respected.
Anyway, these are just some of the main points. You could pick this very long chapter to death. And I totally challenge you do actually do that. Read it, meditate on it...see what God would have you learn from it. It's filled with great nuggets. But, this is one of the main teachings that really impacted me and changed me and my perspective. I pray that God would really bring it alive to whoever else needs this too, like I did so desperately.
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