Monday, September 11, 2006

I Hate Dogs

Hate is a strong word. I started to call it a "dislike," or "strong aversion to," but, I've come to realize and accept...I just hate dogs. That's the only word for it.

I think they are cute when they are on TV, but that's as far as my appreciation goes I must say.

In my previous post I talked about how I had overcome an attack of issues with germs. But, there are 2 things that I have never enjoyed, in fact, I despise. In no particular order, the first thing is dogs and the 2nd thing...well, we'll get to that in the next post.

I have so many friends and family who are dog lovers. So, I don't mean to offend. But, this is my blog and I reserve the right to gripe about whatever I want all I want. :)

My reasons for hating dogs:
1. They slobber - and usually it's all over you.
2. They lick - which goes hand-in-hand with slobbering, but just another facet of dog irritation; also, it's usually right after they've licked their butthole or drug up something dead and decomposing in the yard or drank out of the toilet bowl or dug through the trash...um, disgusting. And we all know how dogs "drag" things...yes, with their mouths.
3. They clobber - this is often seen as a sign of friendliness and doted on since dogs are "man's best friend" after all; but, again...another facet of dog irritation; I for one do not want a big nasty beast even touching me, much less giving me a full-out jump-on hug.
4. They stink to high heaven - even inside dogs who are given baths regularly...and teeth brushed (yes, some people do that)...they still stink; there is always an odor, esp. when they open their mouth...ugh!; and, of course, they usually open their stinky old nasty breath mouths when they are begging for food at your feet right as you are about to take that first bite at the table...yuck!!
5. They bark - Whether it's the deep-throated bark of a big dog or a yappy annoying bark of a small dog, it's enough to drive someone crazy...esp. at 2 o'clock in the morning...and esp. when it lasts for 2 hours; or, at 2 o'clock in the afternoon when your babies are trying to take a nap; sometimes I am very tempted to go and buy a gun and use it.

So, obviously not an exhaustive list, but you get the idea. I just hate dogs.

Some of you know that we had a kitten for a while this summer. Some would argue that cats are just as "nasty." But, #1 - our cat never went out of the house. #2 - if it did go out of the house (to the vet. or something), it got a bath. #3 - cats leave you alone...none of that clobbering, licking, stinking, slobbering, barking nonsense. Much, much better than a dog in my mind. It was still a stretch for me at times to even have a cat.

I've just come to accept that I'm a much happier person when dogs are far, far away. Why? Because I hate dogs.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dont have the intense aversion to dogs like you do...but i have to agree with the grossness of all of that!!

However...just in case you didnt ever see..cats lick their ___holes too!!!

I'll stick with kids slobber, vomit and puke right now, thank you!! :)
Nicole

Anonymous said...

And cat hair gets on everything.

steph said...

Okay, girl...I will forgive you for this blog entry. I have explained to Kona that you are sick and not of sound mind.

Havent I seen pictures of Hadley eating dirt? Don't you know that dirt is full of germs?

Anonymous said...

LOL, I LOVED THIS!!! i mean i love dogs and all but i love how you wrote it here... you make me laugh.

carrie

Anonymous said...

I'm right there with you. Anything that greets me by sniffing or licking my netherregions is off the list.

Derry