Friday, September 08, 2006


I don't think that I've ever blogged about this. That in itself is a testament to what God has done. You see, germs used to be the bulk of what I thought about.

About 6 months after Joel and I got married, I started to be very aware of the filth of things. In reality, what really started to happen was that I believed a lie. And, after buying into that lie, I believed another lie. After that, another lie was told and I believed that.

Up to that point in my life, I'm sure that Satan had worked his ways with me, even if it was only to get me to think that he wasn't really around...he wasn't the cause for things. In fact, that is his most successful way of working here in the lull us to sleep and blind us to the things he does. But...

"Be careful! Watch our for attacks from the Devil, your great enemy. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for some victim to devour." --1 Peter 5:8

He hates to see things being done to increase God's Kingdom. Remember, he comes to steal, kill, and destroy!

And, he did. He came straight to me to destroy. I heard it once preached that the enemy likes to set up fear right over the door of our destiny. He succeeded with me. The things that I feel a call on my life to do...go to a 3rd world country to be a missionary, have many kids, adopt many kids (including street kids), destiny. Throwing a fear of germs over that door of my destiny would've stopped me in my tracks. The enemy would've won. How could I ever bring little street kids into my home when I didn't even want to touch them?

Thankfully, we recognized it for what it was quickly. We knew that it was a spiritual battle.

Many would say that I had "OCD: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder." And, it definitely fit the OCD profile. I wasn't afraid of the germs making me sick, but I just thought of things as nasty and therefore didn't want to touch them...and didn't want them to touch me. Example: doorknobs in public places. Now, we can totally rationalize that. I mean how many hands touch the doorknobs/handles day in and day out at your local grocery store, mall, or restaurant? And then how often do you think that doorknob gets cleaned? But, you just can't live like that. I believed that "lie" and then I stopped touching doorknobs...then I would believe another lie and stop touching table tops at restaurants, etc. It just went on and on until I was a prisoner of the lies from Satan that I believed.

I dare say, though, that I believe that MANY of our mental disorders and cases like OCD are in fact spiritual. We so often run to a doctor for help that they can't really give. Sometimes they can put a band-aid on something, but the cause and the problem is still there, only masked. Sometimes they can't even do that. Most often what we need to do is run to God and allow Him alone to do the job.

Those of you that know me know that the whole germ-freakout was SO NOT LIKE ME. I could swim in any mudhole you put before me, sit down on the bed next to the most infectious patient I had, etc. Nothing bothered me. But, when it hit, it hit hard.

Joel was the most amazing man during that time. He would submit to my every request about washing this or that or taking a shower when he really wasn't dirty. He would tell me that he didn't agree, but that he just wanted to honor me. I would melt at that point and become more determined than ever to beat it...I didn't want him to be a prisoner too. We both knew that I had a problem and we were attacking Satan back through major spiritual warfare constantly, but it took a long time. And, Joel's actions and the way he "went along" with my craziness gave me more determination each time to fight and win. I didn't want to do that to him...I didn't want us to live like that.

Battling a satanic attack is hard and takes time sometimes. It's not always an instant, quick fix. We fought for about 3 1/2 years. It was INTENSE!! At the end of that time, I just supernaturally knew that it was all coming to a head...either Satan was about to win or this oppression would be broken over me. God won out. Praise the Lord!!

So many people don't recognize a spiritual attack. For them, everything that happens has a natural, physical, emotional, or coincidental cause. For that reason, many people, day after day, continue to live in bondage and the devil loves it. They aren't living up to their full potential in God because Satan has set up huge obstacles right over the door of their destiny. It's so sad...they don't even know to fight through and push through those obstacles. They don't understand spiritual warfare at all.

Don't get me wrong...I don't see a demon around every corner. And, I take full responsibility for allowing Satan to work in my life...believing the lies in the first place. But, through this my eyes have really been opened to the wiles of the devil and his workers. There is definitely a spiritual realm that is at work at all times. Some say that isn't reality, but indeed, that is the greater reality.

So, if you yourself or someone you know is going through a hard time...a spiritual attack...take courage. I've always loved the story in Daniel. I REALLY held onto this story while we were going through this battle. Daniel had started praying for something. He prayed and fasted for 21 days. An angel appeared to him and told him that the very first day Daniel had started praying, he (the angel) had been sent. But, he met up with great opposition as he was on his way. "For 21 days the spirit prince of the kingdom of Persia blocked my way," he said. But, then Michael, another angel, was sent to free him so that he could get to Daniel to deliver his answer to his prayer. (Daniel 10) What would've happened if Daniel had given up before he got an answer...on the 5th day of praying, or the 12th, or even on the 20th day? So many times we want the answers, but we aren't willing to do the battle to get them.

We just don't know sometimes what is going on in the supernatural realm. We can't just rely on the natural circumstances to be indicative of what's really going on. So, be encouraged and pray and keep on praying. Your life and your life's calling might depend on it.

1 comment:

Ali Elam said...

Awesome testimony! Thanks for sharing it with us! Great encouragment to keep on praying and waiting for God in the tough issues of life!