The Joel and Michawn Story - Part 7

Joel: "Am I doing a good job of not letting you know I like you?"

I was floored. At that point I thought that if anything was to happen, and I had no idea that it would, but if it did, God would allow it all to come out (for instance, this sort of question that Joel had just asked me) in December. I would then leave in January. I would come back at the end of March, plan a wedding, and get married in the summer. :) Although I didn't let me mind really go there, I had planned that out as a possibility just to keep my bearings...it was good...I thought the earliest possible discussion would be in December. Hence...yeah...I was floored.

I just put my head in my hands. I was in disbelief. Poor Joel. He told me that at that point he was freaking. He was like, "Crap, why did I say that?" :)

Well, I did finally lift my head, we discussed it a bit, and just decided to continue to pray. We would be in touch. :) That was a Friday night. I didn't see him again until that next Wednesday.

We grabbed some Bodacious and talked about everything before heading to church. Basically he said that he had prayed and prayed and just did not have the certainty that I was indeed his wife. But, he just kept trying to leave me at the altar and I wouldn't stay there. So, he decided to tell me.

I, personally, was a little irritated. :) I mean, I wasn't mad, just upset. The thing was that I didn't want even a syllable of such talk to enter my ears unless the guy knew that he was going to marry me. I knew it could happen that way...I had seen it happen like that in other people's lives and that's what I wanted for me. So, this was not exactly what I had expected and held as my standard. I'm the kind of person that if someone doesn't tell me they like me, I don't let myself think it. I told Joel this and he was like, "I wish I'd known that." :) I think he was just worried that since he was having these feelings, even though nothing had changed as far as our relationship and the time we spent together and such...he just wanted to be extra cautious that he wasn't leading me on. So, he wanted everything out in the open. Although it wasn't what I had planned for how it was "supposed to happen," it was totally understandable. I completely respected and appreciated his reasoning. And, in the end, I know that it was God who orchestrated that all...there was much to learn in the way it all played out (you'll see more what I mean as the story goes on).

So...again...we just continued in prayer about the matter.

We continued to just do the normal things...no calling each other just to talk, no dating, etc. We hung out in groups and had a great time.. About a month later, at the first part of July, he left. He traveled alot that summer, even trekking all the way to Brasil with his brother to visit friends. We talked right before he left and felt like we would have a final decision concerning us when he got back...whether we were to be married or not.

While Joel was gone, I continued on as normal. I had felt like, back in May, I was supposed to have a big garage sale and sell all my stuff in preparation to go to Costa Rica. Right before Joel got back I realized why I hadn't done that yet. I was thinking that if he got back and said that I was his wife, we would need all my stuff. Well, God totally busted me on that one. One day He said very clearly to me, "Your life is not pending on Joel, it's pending on what I tell you to do." Yeah...so I had the garage sale. But, that's just an example of how I had to continue on, not thinking of the possibilities and what seemed "logical" to me...but, just doing what God had me to do step-by-step.

Also while Joel was gone, I moved in with John and Nicole Graves and lived in their little prayer room which was part of the deck on the lake. It was AMAZING. It was such a great time of just soaking up some good family life and seeking God intensely there.

Joel was gone for about 8 weeks. He got back the end of August.

This is a long story huh? (Warning: You're not even halfway through it) :) More in Part 8.

Pictures above in the text: #1 - The last day before Joel left we all went and played around in Longview. Here we were playing on a playground. We had gone swimming at a public pool that day and here at the playground we were running through puddles and playing on the equipment. #2 - Although you can't see it that well, the prayer room where I lived at the Graves' is in the left hand side. You had to walk over a walkway, over the water, to get to it. Man, such an awesome experience living there. Can you see why with this view?

Me and my great roommates at the time...Sanja, Lidia, and Leeana. When Stephanie moved out and got married, Leeana moved in. I had shared a room with Stephanie and then shared a room with Leeana...so much fun.
The guys on a canoeing trip on the Sabine...this was the day after Joel visited me at the hospital and "broke the news" to me about his feelings.
Me hanging out with Johan and Joel (and Tweety?) at our house.
Canoeing with Joel...and Daniel, Dana, Kari, and Stoner on the VERY HIGH Sabine River.
While Joel was gone on his travels, I was busy playing too. During July Saline has a Watermelon Festival every year. Here is a crew of friends that came that year for the festival...that's my little brother along with Stoner (Mark), Amy Terry, Justin Sprayberry, Josh Ransom, Daniel Ryan, and O.L. Kelly. We're all hanging out at "my house" in Saline. More came the next day for the festival.
The crew at the Saline sign...about to enjoy more of the Saline Watermelon Festival. We had just watched the HUGE (kidding...not huge, but fun) Saline Watermelon Festival parade.
Our friends Danny, Ben, and Josh competing in the Watermelon Toss. What a cultural experience for everyone! :)
Danny enjoying the lake.
Joel and his brother Andre in Brasil.
Joel and his friends, Thais and Tania.
Joel visiting with his friend Marcelo in Brasil. We actually hang out with him some now...fun.
Old Saline Baptist Church youth group reunion. Not really, but we were all at Donnie Brown's wedding that summer. Great to be all together in one place with them all. Of course, 4 of those people in the picture are actually my brother and cousins, so I got to see them alot.
My last night at 606 Berkshire before I moved in with the Graves'. SUCH GREAT TIMES there...I lived there for about 16 months.
Joel and his family while he was visiting them in the Boston area that summer.
Combining 2 of my favorite pastimes at the time...swimming of course and hanging out with little Hannah Graves.