The Joel and Michawn Story - Part 1

This first part will be just a history of both of our lives basically. Although that might seem tedious and trivial, it is, in fact, important to get the background behind it all. So, here goes...

Joel was born and raised in Brasil as you all know. Brasil is VERY...well, let's just say that there are couples EVERYWHERE. It is just THE thing. Everyone has a boyfriend or girlfriend. And usually they are making out...no matter where they are. :) Seriously. They're a pretty affectionate culture.

His dad was a pastor and they are from a pretty conservative background. His mom and dad are both from Pennsylvania and have roots in the Mennonite church, which is very conservative. Growing up, Joel doesn't remember much conversation about what was expected as far as dating, although he says that surely they did talk about it since he knew what was expected. He does recall asking them about dating on one occasion. He remembers being told that maybe when he was 18 he could date (that is his memory anyway). He says that he's sure they also got teaching about it in their youth group, but it must not be very memorable...they weren't allowed to date in his youth group though is what he says. He said that and then I asked him "did you date in your youth group?" He nodded yes.

Anyhoo, without going into great detail...he wasn't exactly following the expectations of others. But, he was always an innocent and protected-by-God guy. Dated, did other things that weren't what we, as parents, want our children to do...but, he remained what the world considers very pure. He never got his heart very involved in any of his dating relationships...his longest dating relationship being "probably 6 months." :) Obviously nothing serious...until me that is.

I also grew up in a Christian home. I dated some during high school. We talked about it in youth group and I also don't remember it really being discussed too much at home...but, we knew what was expected. The focus in the teaching we got in youth group wasn't the heart though...and not the spiritual aspects of dating...just the physical stuff that wasn't supposed to happen. The whole "sex is for after marriage" thing...that was it basically. It's a good rule of course, but it's just not very thorough. I seriously don't remember much else than that being said.

I went out with a few guys during high school, but nothing serious. The longest relationship for me was 3 months...twice (with 2 different guys). One guy I had known all my life. We used to get in trouble singing and laughing during naptime in Kindergarten. Funny. The other guy was when I was a senior. I think since I thought I was going to be married by the time I was 19 (like my Mama), I figured he was the one I was going to marry. It was really Godly and spiritual the way I was coming up with that (ha)...thank God he didn't actually ask me to marry him or anything. But, this was the first relationship that I even remotely got my heart involved in. And...I do mean remotely. He broke it off and it took me all of a week to get over it. :)

Sidenote: When I mention something about the heart being involved, I mean that I (or Joel) was not fully in the relationship. The heart is still being affected and I truly believe that...but, what I mean is that we weren't crushed at the end of these relationships you see.

Anyway, after I graduated, there was a guy that I had been friends with for a while. He was a great guy and we started going out. We ended up going out for a record-breaking 3 1/2 years (way more than the old record of 3 months, right?). With this relationship I was seriously crushed when it was over...my heart was in a million little pieces and I had no idea what my next step was. My heart had been all the way in since we'd started. I was completely and head over heels in love with this guy. I mean, what wasn't to like...he was just great all the way around...loved God, lived for Him, was smart, funny, fun, good at all he did...was my best friend. Funny thing though...he was a great guy...one of the best. BUT...he wasn't the best one for me. That is key.

We had crossed some lines at the very first of our relationship, but had gotten back on track with God and with our relationship...another thing to be proud of and another reason to think that he was definitely the one for me. We had talked at length about everything, including our lives after marriage...in 3 1/2 years you can make all the plans you ever need to make all the way through retirement (and we had). :) My whole life was set I thought. I had it all completely planned out and it was a good life...even a life that "lived for God." Problem was that God didn't want that life for me. It was the spring semester of my junior year of college when we broke up.

Wow, only a year of school left and then what? All the plans that I had made were no longer to be. I RAN to God and of course He met me. Long story short, it basically took me 4 full years to be completely healed of that relationship...for God to fully restore and heal my heart.

And then...Part 2.