Oct. 25th - I had just come off a really hard weekend. It was painful and very, very difficult. More remnants of bad, wrong, and detrimental teaching. I posted this simple fact.
No matter how much we try, no matter how much we want it...some stories just don't have a happy ending.Oct. 26th - I posted this...
This weekend was a fight. A literal all out BATTLE on the front lines...again. But I fought well...again. I am exhausted, but I am a mighty and brave warrior. Truly. If you only knew.
Thank you to those who prayed, esp after seeing that status yesterday (which could have been about anything, but you knew and cared and prayed and asked about me...I wasn't fishing for or expecting that, but you loved well). Thank you.
The story continues. At this point, each battle that comes threatens that continuation moreso than the last. But we'll see how it ends.
Either way, for me?, this...
Oct. 27th - This picture (taken on the day our 2009 school year was completed) showed up in my memories. And I captioned it by saying this:
":) Oh, the busy but simpler days. Makes me sad. And, comparatively, overwhelmed with life now. Sometimes I wonder if these memories showing up in my newsfeed is a good thing, lol...anybody else feel like that? But those sweet little faces! That have now turned into almost grown faces. Love seeing these baby versions."
I wrote more in the comments. Such truth here...
i knew that i was busy...but i was content and there was no stress, because even though there were always things that most people would find stressful (even in this picture, we were getting ready to travel back to the states and be away from our home for a total of a full year, bouncing around a LOT in 2010, in the states and in brazil), there was grace for that and the big thing...we worked as a team very, very well. that changed drastically a couple of years after this picture was taken.
contentment in your life is such a great thing. there are some things that can't be changed and therefore you have to find a way to find contentment. but, there are some things that can be changed and a lack of contentment (lack of peace) is a sign for you that you have to fight for those things to be made right again in life so that contentment can return.And that has been the truth of the past few years. The lack of contentment is not because I am not 'choosing to be happy'...a phrase and concept so often bounced around by people...so often used to shame people who are in a place of hardship. No...most often a lack of contentment isn't about not choosing to be happy...it is because there is a real problem that needs to be fixed and contentment won't return until it is.
Oct. 27th -
Beautiful. Powerful voice, powerful song.
"I see shattered, you see whole. I see broken, but you see beautiful. And you're helping me to believe You're restoring me, piece by piece."
Whether it's your own sins or the sins of others against you that have shattered you, He can make you whole again. Beautiful. I think it's very telling, by the way, that I always inadvertently sing "I am free" (instead of "I am clean") during the chorus.
Oct. 28th - While the things I speak of are very serious and most of the time I take that tone, you must also, at times, insert a little lightheartedness into the fight. This, from Brené Brown, made me laugh. :)
Oct. 31st -
"You don't just think outside the box. You don't even know there *is* a box."Then someone put in the comments something they'd heard on TV that they loved...something that I wouldn't include here except that it led to some words from me about boundaries. What someone else shared was this quote: "At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So you can waste your lives drawing lines, or you can live your life crossing them."
I heard that on a TV show recently. But I think they were talking about me.
i don't agree with this one in my own life...because when i set boundaries, it's all about putting the fence around others, not myself...so that i can then be *free* to move about. but, the crossing the lines part i like.Boundaries are important...to provide you freedom, for yourself!
I wish for you all wisdom, safe & healthy relationships, and freedom.