Friday, March 20, 2009

Some of Sally's Words

(First, a quick Grady update: We still don't know anything conclusive as far as treatment for Grady...if there is to be any at all. The radiologist said the same thing that the other ultrasound showed...lymph nodes. We don't know. Grady feels fine, he just has a knot that gets smaller and then gets bigger again on his jaw. He never even notices it. So, we don't feel a huge urgency...therefore, we will go back to the ENT here either Monday or Tuesday to get the final word as far as she's concerned on what needs to be done from here. Thank you so much for you care, concern, and prayers. You guys are the best.)

This is something I read the other day by Sally Clarkson on her blog. Just thought it was good. I loved the phrase 'the home was the center of life' and just her whole point in saying that. Even if you (women, moms) must work (or even feel called to do so), this applies. Love how she made that clear. I just think it is so, so true. By the way...a little history: She and her family moved something like 17 times while her 4 children were growing up, some of those internationally, so she's done it all...she hasn't just lived in her comfy little colorado home that she speaks about all her life. I appreciate that about her just because I can personally relate more knowing that...maybe you can too. And now, Sally's words...enjoy!

It is so wonderful to be home and to sleep in my own bed and to be surrounded by familiar everything. I feel so blessed to have a home that feels like a haven. I also feel blessed, though, to have been able to meet so many wonderful women while on the road this season.

I have lots and lots of thoughts swirling around in my head that I will be sharing over the next weeks. One thing that has been at the forefront is a book I have been reading called "Culture Makers." First Clay read it and then Sarah and now me. Books tend to get passed a lot in our family. I love the concepts presented because it is so much a picture of motherhood. We are Culture Makers in our homes when we teach the truth about God and His word, but then it can't stop there. We must embody the truth in the way we behave, the way we set up our homes, the way we speak, the way we cook, the way we relate and so on.

So many treat God as though He is an idea or thought to be understood--that the thinking of God is superior to everything else. However, it is the incarnation of God--God living in our flesh--living and breathing through everything we do, that makes Him real to our children.

Once I was in the kitchen with one of my children when they were making a cup of tea and waiting for it to steep as we all moved toward our hour long reading time in our own areas (a habit I started when they were very small--the rule was that everyone had to stay relatively quiet for an hour--they could either read or take a nap!) But it is how I helped the kids develop the habit of reading--I would bribe them with rewards as they read through their basket of books-but that is for another article.)

Each one of us could take hot chocolate, tea, coffee or whatever to our reading time to make it a little more cozy. Anyway, this child said, "You know, a lot of our friends act like God makes them unhappy and sour."

What do you mean, I asked. "Well, they have a stern look on their faces and say no a lot and look like having fun is against the rules. But in our house, God is the one who made Chile peppers for fajitas and Celtic music to dance to and stars to sleep out under on our porch and holidays to celebrate and jokes to laugh at and backs to scratch and tickle--our God is big and fun and good and interesting and loving and true. I like that kind of a God better."

As I have been reading this book, I have realized again, how true my child's statement is. If you want to build a value system and cultural values into a person, you can't just tell them what they are supposed to do--you have to model it--live it out. In other words, you can't just say, "Jesus said the most important thing we are supposed to do is to love one another," But if you want it to sink in, you have to spend focussed time with the one you love and listen to them; give words of life and build them up; have fun, shared experiences with them; minister to them when they are sick or tired; appreciate their dreams; support them and forgive them when they have failed--then they do not just hear love as a word--but they experience love as a reality and capture in their own lives what it means to love.

Similarly, if we want to change our own culture (which is very liberal and post modern), we can't just say, "People should be married for life and love each other and raise children and avoid sexual immorality." We can't just tell people what is right and wrong, they must experience it in our lives and see it and know it in their mind and in their experience. We show people the reality of family and marriage by inviting them in our home for meals, by loving them actively and serving them as a family when they have a need; by hosting them on holidays and by sharing Christ with them in our words and with our cups of cold water.

I have thought long and hard about why we live in such a post modern culture and how people can so readily accept a liberal, non-traditional paradigm. I think, to a great degree, it is because paradigm of home is changed. There used to be a mom who cooks real meals and nurses her children and creates a life-giving atmosphere and reads to her children and plays with them and makes chocolate chip cookies for the neighborhood children in the midst of teaching the truth of the gospel and praying in front of her children and serving others as a part of family life.

However in the last years, many, many moms have gone to work and moved across from their own families, so there are few relationships and less traditions. Women put their children in day care or lots of activities and pick up fast food and place their children in front of the tv instead of having real conversations at dinner time; and their children, who long for relationship and affirmation, attach themselves to their peers and whoever has the time to spend with them and show them love. Consequently, when it used to be parents who passed on morality and faith; now, it is the outside culture--peers, tv and movie culture--but not primarily the family or community of believers who are close and share life together. I don't think it is necessarily an issue of a mom working or not--as a matter of fact, as I read more history, I see that moms have worked throughout the years--some had gardens and sold their produce; some took in laundry or sewed or ran a country store with her husband. But the issue was that the home was the center of life, the moms were devoted to serving their children and the children worked side by side with their parents and learned about life with them. The outside influence and peer dependence was so much less and not a way of normal life--and the media interruption of the family hours together was non-existent.

So, whereas a hundred years ago, most people became Christians through their homes (as a survey of 1898 shows) and it was because that is where they logged time and built relationships. Not so in modern times.

That makes the role of motherhood extremely important in our days--that we build life culture in such a way that it builds anchors from our children's hearts to our hearts; that it gives them a reason to always think of home as the best place to be; that we are inviting others into our home so they, too, will catch the family culture and then seek to build it for themselves.

It has given me even more reason to do the mom heart ministry. We want God to raise up leaders all over the world who cannot only teach the Biblical foundations of motherhood and the importance of passing on righteousness to the next generation. But we need there to be leaders to teach and then serve a cup of tea and light a candle and invite these moms into our lives and homes so that the younger moms can hear it and taste it and be served by us as Jesus served His disciples.

That is why Jesus didn't just give lectures to His disciples. He taught them and then lived with them; traveled with them, served them, healed their family members, cooked them meals and fed them. They heard Him and they felt His nearness and love--and that is the reason His disciples were willing to follow Him to their death, serving Him and His kingdom.

May the Lord bless you in your own little kingdom of life today and give you the grace to teach it and then live it well and with joy.
Love and blessings to all of you.


Anonymous said...

WOW, WOW. That's what it's all about. I think this is the best definition of what it means to disciple our children that I ever read.
What happens in the home as Sally described is also exactly what is to happen in the church. One thing I see God doing, is He is beginning to take us back to the basics, the foundation and making sure it is the right foundation we build on, first in the home and then in the church.
Blessing and Grace to all of us as we let Him work out family that way He inteded it to be.

on an adventure said...

I'm glad you posted this. What an encouragement it was to me! Needed to hear that in many ways.

Paul said...

Although I am far from religous, I totally agree with almost everything you wrote, so many people today are letting other people raise their children, or games, or television, I look at the world and shudder when I see where it is headed.
If only more people thought this way I think that society's problems could be fixed in a hurry.

Rebecca said...

Thanks, Michawn, for sharing this. I love Sally Clarkson's blog! What she says here is very true - and a great encouragement for those of us who are "in the trenches."

The Brodines said...

Thanks for sharing that, Michawn! It was so good. I loved it and it encouraged me.

Ali said...

Sally is my very favorite! I read one of her book's: The Mission of Motherhood several years ago and it was amazing! In February of this year my sister, Aimee and I got to go to one of her conferences for a weekend! It was incredible! Love her heart for God, her heart for her family, her heart for other mothers! She is a total role model, wise woman and mother! Plus, I love her honesty and realness!

~ Ali