Choices

It's scary the choices we make sometimes. I know I've made choices I've regretted. People make choices they regret everyday. A woman drives too fast to get where she's going and hits a child on the road. A man is careless and gets his saw too close to his finger and then he lives without a finger for the rest of his life. A young guy does a surface dive into the water hitting a rock and is paralyzed for the rest of his life. A woman lays her baby down in a crib that is under a window unit air conditioner and comes back to find her baby crushed under the fallen piece of equipment. (those last 2 things actually happened to one family in the matter of less than 2 years)

Why am I thinking about these things this morning? Well, it's just good to think about...good to be on our toes and cautious and careful...good to be aware of the outcomes our choices can have.

But, specifically, I woke up thinking about Sylvian Coody this morning. I have NO IDEA why really. It just got me to thinking though.

I was never really close friends with Sylvian. He was a few years older than me. But, he did hang out with some of my friends my age...he partied with them all the time. I saw him and talked to him often, esp. my senior year of high school. I was never a "partier" but my senior year and during college, I would often (almost every weekend) just stop by the hang-outs of my friends. They would be guzzling the beer of course. They loved me, probably because even though I was a "goody goody" I still liked to hang out with them. They would always politely offer me some of their goods. I would smile and decline. I would ask them if they had any coke to which they would laugh...and that's the way it went.

Some of the situations that I found myself in, during high school mostly, were not situations that I would want my children to be in. I'm not saying that hanging out with the "bad crowd" was always harmless. But, during this time period that wasn't the case. I had my own car and would just drop by. Good times. I loved my beer-guzzling, dope-doing friends. Unfortunately for them, that lifestyle tends to catch up with you.

It was about 3 or 4 years after high school that I walked through my dorm apartment living area. My roommates had flipped on the news while they ate their supper. I noticed the man on the screen. It was Sylvian.

He had been at a party and was super high. One of the girls there had a baby. The baby wouldn't stop crying. He shook it, but it still wouldn't stop. Well, you can guess the ending. A horrible one. One that ended up with a dead baby and a young man in the state penitentiary for life.

That was the end result of many years of bad choices. Sylvian was really a sweet, friendly, fun-loving guy...but, those choices he made turned him into a very, very high, dark, crazy man that night.

We all have to make choices every day. Some bring life and some bring death. We may never be at the point of making choices that will end a life in the natural like Sylvian, but there are so many other kinds of death-bringing choices.

I got to talk to one of my bestest (like that word?) friends yesterday. We got to talking about a family of a friend of ours. The man is very passive and the woman is very powerful and assertive in her personality. Over the years the man has just kind of shut down. Choices. This woman has basically dominated all these years...chosen to do so, even if in ignorance. The man has chosen to shut down and become numb. Neither one is functioning in the role that they are called to. That brings death in this family where there could be abundant life. This couple could end up splitting up and that would bring even more death, even more visible to the people around them. But, even if they choose to stay together like this, the family is not living up to the full, life-giving potential they could be.

I don't know...it's just really reminded me this morning that I need to be careful. I need to bring life, not death. I need to not be "uppity" with my husband. I need to not be critical and judgmental (of them and others) with my children. I need to live joyfully and not let myself get in the ruts of just doing life. I need to not grumble and complain...ever...even just a little bit. I need to bring life.

Just what I'm thinking about today. Now that I write all this out, I somehow think it not a coincidence that I woke up thinking about Sylvian. This is the first day of the new year after all...pretty good time to be thinking about my choices.

HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all!!