The Two Responses

I'm going to share here two responses that I got recently within 24 hours of each other. These two responses provide you with a little insight into what goes on all around me at all times.

Response #1

The first I'm sharing shows the simplemindedness and sheer refusal, that is so very prevalent among the people in Joel's camp, to take in the facts. He is like this. His family of choice is like this. These are truly their beliefs, despite any facts and truth that is handed to them on a silver platter.

I don't share this to complain that these things are being said to me. I share this in shock, honestly, that people can believe this way.

Michawn..I was reading everything you wrote..I don't understand what you say about Joel's destructive behavior.
Another thing, as I understand from your lines, do you think Joel has to choose between you and his children or his family of origin?
Don't you want Joel to honor his parents?
Answer if you want.
You look so full of hurt. And this whole situation for years dragging on, so many people involved.
They made a mistake, but they are still his parents, so hard to break this bond.
If you don't want Joel anymore, why are you still married to him?
If he won't do what you think is right, then he won't do it for you, right?
What did Joel do so badly to make you feel so abused and full of indignation and hate?
That's what you convey in your speech ... a very unhappy woman, outraged, hurt, betrayed and full of hope that Joel will do what you want to be able to resume the marriage ...
You say you want to help other abused people, so explain to me what this abuse might be.
What I can understand from a distance is that you demand that Joel leave, leave his family of origin, and that is impossible ... his first emotional family ties are his parents .. he was born of them .... Joel formed another family, but not to lose the first one.

The above mindset is the reality of what I am STILL dealing with with Joel and his people.

Response #2

More and more, I get these. The more I share the evidence, the more I talk about what has happened, the more people start to see truth. Not all. And many never will. But, some will.

This is one such person...

Hey girl, wanted to message you and tell you how sorry I am that you are going through this crap with Joel. I know you have been hurt by sooo many of us who have drank the “cool-aid”. (Meaning for me the [insert church we were involved in together] way.) I feel like I became a robot in how I had to live and function instead of walking in flipping Grace of Jesus. That’s the nut shell version for me. Anyway, I have tried as much as I can with small children to follow most of what’s going on. And for me it’s kind of been a slow death just reading and hearing about y’all and your marriage going to pot. I know it’s waaaay worse for you but want you to know I love you and you deserve waaaaaay better then his abuse and garbage. I can’t get over Joel and his actions with his family of origin vs his wife and kids. It just baffles me what he has chosen and continues to choose. I will never ever forget your wedding! Ever, it was amazing and beautiful and I loved getting to be a part. I also know that a lot of our friends are no longer around because they think you're wrong and Joel is the angel. I’m just soooo sorry; I especially hate it for your kids. It has to be ridiculously hard during the holiday season; I Just want you to know that I love you and pray that you and your kids are able to somehow find your way through the shmuck of it all. Love ya.

Our family has been destroyed. More and more people see the truth of how it happened.

It would make mine and the kids' lives so much better if Joel and his family of choice saw truth too.