The Struggle

I just don't even know what to write really. Sure, there have been time constraints and internet dependability problems since we got here to our U.S. home base in Saline, Louisiana. But, mostly my lack of posting is due to a lack of knowing what to write.

And that's still the case...I'm sitting here even now trying to decide what to say exactly.

Not that nothing is going on. Not that I don't have a million jillion feelings and observations to note. But, those things all pale in comparison to the struggle.

I'm not going to even go into the specifics of it all. But, last night I felt a huge urging to go see if Katie had posted something recently. I just read this on her blog. Oh how I can relate. You really must read it. I'm sure at some level we can all relate.

"It's too much." "This isn't working." "I'm not going to do this." These have been my mantras the past few days.

Again, not going to take the time for specifics. But, just know that there is a deep struggle going on. Many questions and no answers. Many 'dynamics' without resolution.

Clarity will come. Peace is on its way.

But the struggle (with so many components) is in full swing. Please pray for us.

The Kids' 1st Snow!!

First of all, we had a great time in NYC this past weekend. Thank you to all of our friends and family for their special gifts that made it possible.

If you didn't follow on Facebook, I'll be posting pics and telling all about it at some point on here I'm sure. I'd mentioned to a couple of people that it was the first time me and Joel had been away somewhere completely childless since before Grady was born (six years ago!!). I'd forgotten about when we went to Brazil to check out Asas de Socorro. But, given that that trip was 7am-10pm interviews for the duration of the trip, it definitely doesn't count as a restful romantic getaway. Besides, I was 8 months pregnant too...so, technically it wasn't a 'childless' trip either. ;)

So...it was great to get away just the two of us. Such a great city and so much fun. I'll tell you all about it another time.

One other area of 'business' before some pictures...some of you have asked where to send a Christmas card this year. Here you go:

P.O. Box 42
Saline, LA 71070

So...

It snowed in this region last weekend. Well, sounds like it snowed basically all over the country last week sometime...our friends and family in Texas and Louisiana got a good bit themselves. We got some in NYC, but it didn't stick. Here in the Boston area though, there were a few inches hanging around for us when we got back.

We weren't here with the kids when it arrived. Joel's sister said that Grady kept insisting (as the snow was falling) that it was Christmas time, they had to put up the Christmas tree!! ;) Cute.

I was so glad that we were able to still play with them in the snow before it all disappeared.

We started out with some snowball throwing, then a snowman, and lastly, snow angels. Even though it was sunny out, our kids didn't have on double layers on their bottom half, so they were pretty miserable by the end of our time outside (I was completely comfortable with double layers, so it wasn't too terribly cold). And Hadley is a bit like her Mama...she kept saying how cold she was and asking if she could go in (her hands esp. bothered her...and no, she wasn't just mimicking me...I was playing and not complaining about the cold for once).

It was their first snow ever...good times.




Run, Grady!
I love Cass' face in this one.
Poor Eissa being consoled by her mean Daddy. Kidding. Joel had accidentally surprised her with a cold ball in the face...very lightly though. The tears were about hurt feelings, not a hurt face. Poor baby.
Whoa.
My turn!!
Going after Grady.
Watch out, Hadley!

Grady getting me.
So threatening, right?

Now it's time to make a snowman. Following Daddy's lead.


A great Cass face again.


Grady making the head.
Telling me all about it.


Some eyes. Grady really worked hard on the snowman...was totally into it. And came up with great ideas for what he should look like and what he needed.
Eissa was cracking me up...totally refused to turn around for the picture. ;)
The country version. ;) Gotta love John Deere.
Eissa getting ready to make her snow angel. She wasn't impressed I must say. She had already reached her snow limit at this point. ;)

Grady's pretty impressed with Daddy's snow angel. And Eissa is saying she's cold. ;) Oh how God has made this family for the tropical climate! :) P.S. Eissa really did enjoy it, even though my pictures only really captured her non-enjoying times. ;)

Running from the camera.

Hiding behind the snowman.
The snow family (note the more classic hat for the snowman that Mrs. Pam came out and gave to us from Mr. Ken's stash). ;)

So thankful that we got to experience snow with our kiddos after all. We'd prayed for that, hadn't we?

What Do You Do While You Wait?

(written as if speaking to a male, but obviously applies to both male and female)

Ohhh, rest in the Lord!!

My heart is heavy for you...and expectant and so very excited for what God has for you. I can't wait to see how it all unfolds. I can't wait until you meet her. Can't wait until you see just how amazing one person can be...and just how perfectly God can match you with someone...and just how incredibly smitten with someone you can be.

It's all SO VERY exciting.

Even just to think about...imagine when it is actually happening in real life.

I use the word 'wait' in the title, but I know that you aren't waiting. You are busy. Busy doing the things of God. Busy living life.

You aren't 'waiting' in the sense of pining away...loooonnnnnnggggggiiiiinnnnnggggglllllyyyy trying to be patient for your mate. No...I know you aren't like that. But, you are in the process of waiting since it hasn't yet happened, right? That part of your life has not yet come, that's all. You are fine with that though. You don't suspect it will happen for another few years anyway.

But, what to do during those few years?

Please...I beg you...don't.

Don't do it.

Don't give in.

You've always been so diligent, so focused, so amazing.

Don't slip. Don't compromise. Don't buy into what the world wants to whisper (or scream) in your ear. Don't let them wear you down.

Imagine how she is waiting for you. No, she's not pining away either (she's busy about her Father's business too), but she is reserving herself...all of her...for you. Her eyes are SET on Jesus...until Jesus nods your way and helps her to see you.

She is reserving her thoughts and her playful flirting for you alone. She is reserving her late-night talks of deep intimate things for just you. She is reserving all her compliments and head-over-heels-ness just for you. It's only for you.

You.

Please...

Keep yourself too. The world would say that it's no big deal to date...to look...to play. Even the church says that.

Beware.

Of the things that would come and try to steal away from you the overwhelmingly incredible joy that can be yours in guarding all that you are for just one.

She is doing it for you.

I know it's exciting to think about...exciting to talk about...exciting to date or think of the prospect of dating. But, not nearly as exciting as waiting...not nearly as exciting as your first date ever...your first date with your future spouse.

You believe God for all things supernatural...believe Him for this too. Don't only believe Him for it, but know that this is the best way. Two people, waiting on God's perfect timing, hearts completely intact and preserved...just the way God adores for it to happen. What joy and blessing...complete contentment and sheer satisfaction like you've never known. Ahhh.

Please don't become contaminated by the world's/the worldly Christian's way of doing things. Don't fall victim to the mindset that says it's no big deal. Save all of you for her. You are her present that only she should be able to unwrap. Don't re-gift. Re-wrapping is not possible.

Guard your heart. Guard your mind. Guard your speech. Guard your actions.

She is SO worth it.