Thursday, July 30, 2015

Joel. Michawn. {Part 34 - Comp to Egal Marriage Video, True Colors, My Babies}

I'm posting more regularly this week.  I posted yesterday if you missed it, or any of the posts from the past few days, check them out.  I got a message just this morning saying what an eye-opener yesterday's post was.  So...don't miss out on something that might help you.  

Today I am going to just share three things really quickly...again that I shared on Facebook in the past week.  The first is a really eye-opening and educational video.  The second is something that needed to be shared in response to others' responses.  And the third...the bottom line is that I have some out-of-this-world children.  They are amazing.  And I'm so grateful for them.  

So...let's get started.

I posted the video above on Facebook last week with the following words:
i listened to this a few months ago. listening again tonight. crying all the way through it again. soooo much i relate to. soooo much like us. praying for this kind of revelation, the kind they our marriage...and for all couples.
There are so many things that are so much like us here.  She has giftings that don't just fall into the 'following/support' giftings.  He is a leader, but doesn't have the giftings/personality that falls into the typical patriarchal type leader.  And patriarchy is what complementarianism, even in its most mainstream form, promotes.

He was leading...and doing that the only way he knew how.  She was trying to follow along...even when it was killing her.

Thankfully, he saw 'that horrified look on her face' (you'll hear that part in their story).  Thankfully, he saw and felt like he couldn't keep doing that to her.  Thankfully, as time went on, he saw what the lifestyle they were living was doing to her and to their marriage...and he stopped.  Joel has never done that.  Joel, and his counsel, just continue to see it as a failure on my part...a failure to be the 'biblical woman' God creates us to be.  A failure on my part to follow.  I let satan in, they say.

Please watch this.  It is very very eye-opening.

I posted this picture with these words:
this is so very true.
if joel should ever really actually finally see this all for what it is and the blinders be removed...if that happens and he starts to say the same things i've been saying for years now...all of you people who were supposed to be *for* me who haven't been...all of you family and friends who, for instance, only 'like' something i post after joel 'likes' have shown your true colors already.
you've shown them all along. but esp. in the past 3 1/2 years. and of that, many of you *esp.* in these past 3 weeks (ohhh, how you've shown your colors). you've not only shown them, but some of you have put your colors on display as if raising them up on a flagpole.
you made your choice. so...if Joel ever comes around to the's too late for you.
**you should have believed *me*...not waited for joel to say it.**
again, there are people in everyone's and close friends...who are *supposed* to be *for* them. no matter what. *even* if they're in the wrong (which...i'm *not,* but even if they are). *even* if you don't agree. waaaaay too many of you were not/are not *for* me. you've raised those flags of your true colors, even if only by remaining silent. and i've seen them. so you can stop taking your cues from joel and *then* 'supporting' me. that's not support. won't work. too late. you can stop thinking that if/when this ever 'blows over,' things will be back to normal with us. they won't.
i don't hold grudges. but, when i see true colors like you've shown, i know what i need to do. i resolve to protect myself and my kids from you and your harmful, very wrong ways. ‪#‎notbackingdown‬ ‪#‎resolve‬ ‪#‎imteachingthembravery‬ ‪#‎imteachingthemunconditionallove‬ ‪#‎imteachingthemconflictresolution‬ ‪#‎imteachingthemtofightagainstinjustice‬ ‪#‎imteachingthemwhatfamilyreallyis‬ ‪#‎imteachingthemwhatatruefriendis‬
Truly...if there has been a pattern of you doubting me or opposing me in my life, no matter what (for instance, even if 1>you haven't even asked me about the situation, 2>you choose to not get the full story by asking and trying to understand, or 3>regardless of the facts and proof you are presented with that clearly show that opposing me would be wrong yet you still choose to do so), then it's just time to part ways.  If you do more damage in my life than good, that is the only option.  There's nothing unbiblical about that.  It's not a forgiveness issue, it's not a lack of grace.  In fact, it's actually the biblical thing to do.  If you don't agree with that, you need to read your Bible again. kids...

Ahhhh...the bright lights in all of this.  The people who love and support and really do see truth (I mean, they are here...they see it...they know).

I posted this picture (you can click on it to enlarge it) with the following words the other day:

i really do have *the* most incredible kids. really. they have *all* shown such love and care to me through all of this, always...each in their own way.
one of them today came to my room where i was eating a bit of lunch and said she had brought me a little encouragement. she had made me this bracelet! y'all. !!  (insert lots of hearts here) ;)  
 my kids were already awesome. but, when i see how they've grown through all of this, i'm just in awe. *this* is how you care for others. they know.
this is a quote from my famous friend (or she will be if she keeps saying things like this). my children just completely embody this...
"We have been invited into the fellowship of the suffering so God can grow our mercy and compassion and help us grow brave about speaking up against injustice on the behalf of others." -- Ali Elam
so proud of them and who they are. so grateful for them. ‪#‎inlove
They are truly the most beautiful people I know.  

There is so much more to share.  I will continue to post information regularly.  It is helpful to me...but, I've heard from so many of you that it is helping you too.  So many of you relate.  I'm so so glad it is helpful.  That is the point.

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