Just sharing here some of the things I have shared on Facebook, along with a few other things.
Oct. 2nd - I shared this article with these words/this excerpt from the article...
oh my GOSH, this is good. 10 phrases...that should be done away with. then further educational information about how to care for people in crisis. as someone who was in the first (emergent, resuscitative, still-with-the-source-of-damage) stage for over 4 years with nobody to help me (that is *shameful,* people), read this article (not just the image that shows up down below) and pay attention, please. because i survived, but not everyone does.
~The best analogy I have for people in acute crisis is looking at them as burn victims. Caring for burn victims is divided into three stages that overlap.
“There is something about suffering that longs for someone to sit with us through the pain. It’s the fellowship of suffering. It’s the words ‘you are not alone’ put into action. The sitting bears witness to our pain. More than a card or a casserole, the familiar, patient presence of another says to us ‘it’s too much for you to bear, but I will be with you, I will sit with you.'”~
I love what she says here. I pray for more badasses to rise up. I'm raising up 4 little badasses myself. :)
Oct. 4th - Just for fun (and because I was really feeling that way during that process that day, realizing yet again all that I've been through), I posted this. Hahaha.
i've been going back through all that has happened and been done, by multiple people, in the past 3 ¾ years (something i have to do for our counselor). all. day. long. for the past 11 hours...no exaggeration (got up to go to the bathroom once). i'm only about halfway done.
can i just say that if i haven't killed someone by now, i need to be awarded sainthood!!
#notevenkidding!!
#becauseireallywanttoputthehurtonSOMEbody
#stmichawnofreadhimer
Oct. 4th - I have never seen religiosity as much as I've seen it these past 4 years. People who use language that sounds so very holy and spiritual, yet they themselves are so very far from acting like Jesus Christ. They are blinded by tradition and fundamental things they have been taught...but are actually found nowhere in the Bible if they'd do some digging. And many of these same people love to blame the devil for things. "The devil is just coming against your marriage"..."The devil has deceived your wife," etc. While I'm quite sure the devil was very happy our marriage was flailing, oneman's sin and these people's divisiveness were the culprits, not the devil.
I posted this picture, along with these words...
daaaaaaang...
"it's easier to find that everything is the devil, for the devil you just cast out, but character you have to deal with."
#falantedaverdade
Oct. 6th - I shared this picture and these words...
3 years ago this week we moved into this house. we'd been living out of those packed suitcases on the floor in that picture for 4 1/2 months at that point. we were *all* beyond exhausted...tiny and cute cass included. man...what a twisted path our lives have taken since then...that was only the very tiny beginning of the chaos. never planned this path. never thought in a million years this would be our reality. but, here we are. although the future is very unclear, this picture makes me so very thankful the past few years are over. it makes me sad, too, of course, about all that happened after this picture was taken. sad about where we are now. but, we continue to survive. and, hopefully, we will continue to gradually walk out of the chaos. thanks for the love and support for me and the kids that has come our way...you know who you are.
Oct. 7th - One of the best bottom-liners there is...
I mean, so true. And so stupid to think otherwise. This is truly a black and white issue.
Oct. 8th - I posted this picture and these words...
:) funny (in the 'truth hurts' kind of way)...
This is almost always a good definition of a Mama. But sadly, not as often the definition of a man.
Oct. 9th - I have never called Joel my soul mate. Ever. I've never called anyone my soul mate. LOL. I just don't use that term. Ever. But, I love what she says here. And I really love what she says about spouses...how easy, how simple, how loving it should be.
Your spouse IS supposed to be your best friend...your greatest champion, your biggest fan. As I said in my last blog post, a spouse is to be a perfect match…spouses are two parts of equal weight leaning against one another. It's not that you won't ever have hard things to discuss. But, within the hard things, you are each other's biggest fan...and best friend. That's the way it is supposed to be.
Oct. 10th - This made me laugh. And I don't feel this way in a vengeful kind of way. But...it makes me laugh that people thought they could come against me and slander me and believe awful untrue things about me and treat me like crap and be so divisive in my marriage...and still think that they could have us in their lives. LOL! It makes me laugh to think that people thought they could be unsafe, unrepentant people...and yet still have us.
Oh honeys...that is the furthest thing from the truth. While it's not what I wanted or imagined at all, I will never put myself or my children in unsafe positions and with unsafe people again...with people who believe such untruths and do such awful things and bully people and remain unrepentant. Not happening.
You can move on and you can even let go of what they have done to you. No grudges. But, people like that should be, and are, declared enemies of your soul.
They thought I'd just go along with it all. They thought wrong.
I don’t think I’d ever seen anything posted by a particular local church in my area in my news feed. I’m always logged into Facebook, but am hardly ever on during the day on weekdays. But yesterday afternoon as I sat waiting for one of my kids to get done with a class in another town, I opened Facebook and there was a link to this post on the church blog.
I debated within myself whether to comment on the blog at all. Would it irritate people...even more than people are already irritated with me? Would it cause more stress and trouble for me than it was worth?
I decided to write something out when I got home and then decide if I would put it in a comment or not. It turned out very matter-of-fact and informational. So I decided to post it on the blog.
The blog is moderated and my comment was not approved...one of the several reasons given was because of length. So, I decided to just share it here. My comment...
I definitely don’t share here to be argumentative or antagonistic. Or to ‘come against’ anyone personally. I just wanted to say that up front and hope that you don’t take it that way. While we have differing viewpoints about this issue (and probably others) at this point, I do hope that we can still be considered friends.
But, I do want to share because, although I didn’t have a word for it, complementarianism was all I was ever taught. I so wish I had been taught the other primary option as well so that I could have made an informed choice myself. And most people who will read this church blog probably have never learned of anything different. So, I want to share ‘the other side’ of it.
The other side of complementarianism is actually not a ‘liberal’ side…or a ‘liberal’ theology. It is called egalitarianism, and it is just simply a theology based around a different way of interpreting scripture. It, in general, 1) looks at scriptures as they were taught along with why they were being taught that way…taking a look at culture and what kinds of things were actually going on during those times in those places, and 2) looks at the Bible as a whole, and focuses on the theme throughout and what lines up with that.
It’s been called a ‘new’ theology by some. But it is, in fact, as old as the Garden.
Adam and Eve were created to be equal partners. Co-laborers. As Sarah Bessey (a wife, mom, writer, and egalitarian) shares in one of her books: Ezer (the name God gave Eve…a name He actually uses for Himself many times in scripture…means strong ally/warrior) is coupled with kenegdo, and is typically translated into ‘helpmeet.’ Ezer kenegdo actually means man’s perfect match…two parts of equal weight leaning against one another. One biblical scholar and theologian, Victor P. Hamilton, says this about it: “Kenegdo suggests that what God creates for Adam will correspond to him. Thus the new creation will be neither a superior nor an inferior but an equal. The creation of this helper will form one-half of a polarity, and will be to man as the South Pole is to the North Pole. She will be his strongest ally in pursuing God’s purposes and his first roadblock when he veers off course.”
God didn’t set up a masculine rule as His standard and plan for humanity. No…it was masculine and feminine together, bearing the image of God. New Testament scholar at Fuller Seminary, J.R. Daniel Kirk says, “Only this kind of shared participation in representing God’s reign to the world is capable of doing justice to the God whose image we bear.”
If a woman is held back, minimized, pushed down, downplayed…or simply is ‘under' her husband…she is not walking in the fullness God intended for her as His image bearer, as His Ezer warrior. Also, if a husband is walking in an authority ‘over’ his wife…he is also not walking in the fullness God intended for him as His image bearer. He is walking along without a part in the correct place…the part that is supposed to be corresponding to him…the equal pull…the North Pole to his South Pole.
When the fall happened, sin entered…along came power and hierarchy and inequality and mistreatment and abuse and all kinds of other horrible things.
But, then Jesus came…to break us free from all sin. To return us to what God intended from the start. Which, among other things, includes equality.
Not ‘equal, but different’…but just equal.
Not ‘equal as in same’…but just equal.
Equal worth, equal value, equal authority (as much authority as humans have anyway).
Callings based on giftings, not gender.
Roles based on gifts and callings, not gender.
A stroll through the New Testament reveals that this was the way it was done with Jesus and His church.
What about those scriptures in the New Testament that “clearly say” certain things about roles of men and women? The phrase ‘lost in translation’ exists because it really happens. Often. Having learned another language now, I know this well. There are certain things you can as-closely-as-possible translate from one language to another…and it still just completely loses its real/full meaning. This is so very true of the Bible as well…because if you haven’t researched and don’t understand the culture of the day and what was happening in those times, it just doesn’t mean the same.
When I first saw this in a practical way concerning the Bible, I was part of a study going through the book Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus: How the Jewishness of Jesus Can Transform Your Faith. Great book…I highly recommend it! But I was floored by how much we miss simply because we are going by what the Bible “clearly says” as translated in the King James Version, or any of the other English translations…instead of going back to the original language. And because we have no idea about the culture and norms of everyday life there...really learning about the culture and what this phrase or that would have actually meant back then in that context completely revolutionizes what English translations “clearly say." It was amazing the difference and how much more meaning was there when you actually learned those things.
It’s kind of like the video here on this page, talking about 1 Timothy 2:9-15. What great insight is gained once you really study the culture, original text, and history of that time! (video actually posted here for your convenience...)
Of course, you have to be able to heed the words of a wise friend of mine from college (a Baptist college)…an egalitarian now, married to an egalitarian distinguished New Testament scholar: "One of the problems with Christians who hold the Bible in such high regards is that we can sometimes get mixed up and hold our interpretation of the Bible as high as Scripture itself. So when someone comes along and challenges that interpretation, they don't see it as a personal challenge but a challenge against God's word! And those are fighting words!”
We have to be willing to go back to the original language, and consider the culture and happenings of the time.
Again, a paraphrased excerpt from Sarah Bessey: Marriage within the Kingdom isn’t an exercise in authority and headship…or a list of roles and rules and responsibilities. Marriage is a beautiful example of oneness and cooperation, an image of the dance of the Trinity in perfect unity. When Paul likened marriage to the relationship between Christ and the church, it wasn’t an exhortation to hierarchy. Christ’s relationship with us as the church is characterized by His crazy love and sacrificial giving, not power grabbing. Paul’s words remind us that Christ gave Himself up for the Church, cleansed her, and loved her.
Since Jesus had arrived on the scene, many things were different. He met with and talked to (even alone) women. He lifted them up…constantly. He gave them important roles…and his followers after Him did as well. Paul and others didn’t necessarily fight against cultural norms. Cultural norms, at that time, did see men as the patriarch, but that was, more often than not, not so within the church at that time. Paul wasn’t fighting cultural norms…but he did provide counsel as to how a Christian marriage could work within those cultural norms…and it was to look very different. Why? Because those cultural norms (of man being the ruler or in authority) were never God’s ideal.
Husbands’ imitation of this picture of Christ would not involve holding onto their society-given rights and powers, but emptying themselves of them. And that is what that passage is about. The marriage relationship is not like Christ’s relationship with the church in every sense. And the sense that is given by this particular passage is not authority and subordination, but oneness. Marriage typifies Christ and the church because both relationships become “one flesh” relationships. Complementarianism does not teach true 'one flesh’…because part of your flesh can’t be in authority over another part of your flesh. See that? Complementarianism doesn’t teach partnership. It teaches hierarchy. (you can read more about that passage here, and on other countless websites...not written by the blog owner, but by a guest writer in this particular post)
Of course there is so much more I could say. I should be able to…I’ve researched and studied these two theologies for a few years now.
I don’t even touch on my own personal experience with complementarianism here. Or the fact that any time you teach that one person has authority over the other, there is a huge risk for abuse.
“Not if the husband is truly loving his wife” some might say. But, that is false. Because complementarianism teaches very specifically that if the man perceives the woman to have lost her way, the loving and sacrificing (just like Christ) thing to do is to do whatever it takes to help her find her way again. And it employs some pretty harsh and abusive ways…treating her as though she is sinful, as though she is a child...‘rising up’ and taking charge in trying to get her ‘help,’ even if that includes talking about her to others behind her back…accusing her of being unholy…playing the victim and turning others against her…deeming everything he does himself acceptable, even though he would never do those things to a business partner, but his life partner he will…all in the name of love. Truly. And all counsel and mentors steering him in this direction. I could go on and on here too. I could also point you to soooo many other stories…all very similar. All done in love as taught by complementarianism. Man is the head, man is responsible for his family, man must take charge in these dizzying moments when nothing makes sense. And complementarianism teaches that woman is easily deceived and the weaker vessel (I've heard waaaay more sermons that talked about Delilah than I ever have about Deborah; when I did hear about Deborah, she was only put in power because no men were stepping up to the job, not because God put her there). No wonder men and their counselors and mentors go about things the way they do.
One of my favorite quotes…because it’s just so based in common sense:
~If a husband tells a wife that she is "equal in worth," but demands that he has the final say on important matters and claims that his opinion/authority holds heavier weight than hers in the family unit, then is she really equal in worth?~ -Jory Micah
But…more important than our common sense is what God says. And you can’t know that simply by reading what english translations “clearly say.” Because what they “clearly say” is most often about as clear as mud (and inaccurate or even just straight up false) when given the original language, the culture of the day, and the history of the time.
Egalitarianism is much more common than I ever knew having grown up with only complementarian teaching. Methodist, Vineyard Churches, Nazarene, Lutheran, Episcopal, Free Methodist, Assembly of God, and even some Southern Baptist congregations…these are all egalitarianism denominations, although not an exhaustive list. Some of the most famous and celebrated Christian men and women have been/are egalitarian…Bill Bright (founder of Campus Crusade), Loren Cunningham (founder of YWAM), Greg Boyd, Clay and Sally Clarkson, Jen Hatmaker, Ann Voskamp, etc. Even many of the people who settle into ‘traditional’ roles are egalitarian. I wrote about one such couple, a friend of mine, here. I didn’t know she was egalitarian until she recently wrote me. It’s a great account! As I said there: Deeply devout and conservative Christians who are opposed to patriarchy of any sort do exist...and they are much more plentiful than anyone raised in patriarchy and complementarianism know.
So much more I could say, but I will end. Feel free, whoever might see this, to ask me questions and discuss this further…or even debate, although I prefer no rudeness or snark. :)
Also, there are a couple of really great websites full of great resources (articles, books, teachings, etc.) that I want to share: CBE International
and The Junia Project
Oh, how I wish I had been given this information as I grew up...information on both sides...so that I could make an informed decision myself. My prayer is that you are able to get a little glimpse into what Egalitarianism is here...and that you will continue to research until you can make an informed choice, whatever choice that may be.
This isn’t something that makes or breaks our salvation. But, it is a pretty important issue. It can definitely make or break our marriages, as I know full well (and I’m definitely not the only one).
Thank you for letting me present the other side. And I look forward to discussing it with you.
If you missed it, I said this in the first part of this series: "The next few posts will be catch-up from Facebook posts. I'm going all the way back to September to begin. Yes, it's been that long since I've played catch-up."
So...let's continue...
Sept. 22nd - This image is self-explanatory:
I've had basically zero safety, peace, and trust in about 95% of my relationships (that I thought were really amazing relationships full of those things) the past few years. People have been weeded out of my life like crazy. Because those three things (plus just basic humanity) were missing. I've learned a lot (of crappy things, honestly) about people.
Sept. 26th - I've noticed this all along...but it has been exponentially highlighted the past few years. There is a HUGE void in the church. In humanity at large really, but especially in the church. A HUGE lack of empathy. A HUGE lack of compassion and love. Those things can only really be expressed towards someone after getting to know them, listening to their stories, and actually believing them!! Are there people who exist who lie or exaggerate? Yes. But most people don't. Yet they are not believed. Not only should you listen to and believe and empathize with others...you have to clear away all of your preconceived notions, and stop thinking, 'well, this reminds me of this story in my own life' and then projecting your feelings and thoughts from your own personal experience onto them. Their experience is not your experience. This is their experience. This is them...not you. It will help to relate to them having experienced something similar. But, similar doesn't equal same. They aren't the same. Don't forget that.
But, people aren't taught this. They really aren't. It's comparable to doctors and other medical professionals not even being taught the famous Hippocrates belief, "Let food be thy medicine and medicine thy food." They, more often than not, treat symptoms instead of meeting somewhere where they really are...seeing the problem for what it really is and seeing the roots so those roots can be removed. That happens medically...but it also happens emotionally and spiritually. When we encounter someone who is in need in our lives, we can see them for who they really are...or we can look at their symptoms and just treat those (if we even do that).
We have to know how to see who they really are though. Most often, even 'ministry training' doesn't teach that. And if we haven't experienced a transformation in our own lives (which often involves realizations about ourselves and transforming healing), this is not possible. That's why this video was so impacting to me. He actually says it...out loud.
"It blows my mind that in our current model of training for ministry, we basically point you to education and skill sets…and then say, 'you’re ready.' ...the most important thing you bring to ministry is a transformed soul. That process never got addressed anywhere else I went."
This needs to happen. What he's talking about specifically is a really great group/organization called Transforming Community. "Our goal is to help you strengthen the soul of your leadership so you are able to lead from your own experience of transformation. The Transforming Center longs to see churches and Christian organizations become communities of authentic spiritual transformation--and it starts with transforming leaders!"
Also on their website (I'm not advertising their website, although I think it sounds fabulous... but here, I'm just agreeing with what they say):
There are reasons why people are not experiencing spiritual transformation in and through their churches. For one thing, many pastors and ministry leaders are not experiencing deeper levels of personal transformation themselves. That's why the Transforming Center has spent the last fifteen years developing and providing the Transforming Community® experience.
It is soooo important to be transformed, so that in turn, you can help someone else be transformed. You just simply can't do that if you haven't experienced it yourself...and if you aren't an empathetic person who believes and actively loves the people who come to you. You need depth...not just an ability to treat symptoms (that doesn't work).
As the man said, you need more than just education and skill sets. Find a way to get more than that...and then do it.
Sept. 28th - I posted this really great article. I love the title..."They Named Me Bold." Here's an excerpt...
I gotta be honest. I used to not get this rambling about women in ministry. I really didn’t understand what the big deal was. Move along. Do what you’re called to do. Stop rallying.
And then I had a realization.
I didn’t get not feeling like you have permission to do ministry. Because I was never taught I needed it.
Why pray for our daughters to be filled with the Spirit if we are not going to let the Spirit speak through them? It is to us to name the next generation of women bold. Brave. Women prepared to seek first the Kingdom – the now and not yet coming of the Gospel to our world. It is to us to teach them that we have been redeemed beyond the need of rescue – and that what time we are afraid, we can put our trust in Him. It is to us to listen when the Spirit speaks through them.
Let us call our daughters bold. Let us tell them they are brave. Let us teach them to associate femininity with wasting their lives for the poor and powerless rather than being powerless themselves. Let us teach them that their rescue comes from Christ. Let us treat their callings to ministry as normative – let it be as normal as them saying they want to be a teacher or a mommy when they grow up.
Let them see us, fully and proudly feminine, whether we are adoring our husbands and corralling children or coming home to an empty house.
Let us release our daughters into the Spirit’s wind.
Sept. 28th - Ohmygosh, you have no idea how much 'material' the past few years has given me in training up my children in the way they should go. We can spend hours talking about life lessons during school...and usually do. I often hear, "You're a good speecher" (haha) and "You should be a preacher." Not because I'm necessarily gifted in those areas (except for with my homegrown audience of 4 maybe), but boy oh boy...what a lot of things we've 'collected' now to talk about. So much that they can hopefully learn from us about...that they can learn from our mistakes in these very specific situations and not have to go through anything even remotely like this.
(And thanks to searching for an image to go with this section, I have now been introduced, quite by chance, to "the irrepressible and fiercely feminist, holiness evangelist, bestselling author, ecumenist, and Quaker mystic," Hannah W. Smith, one of the most prominent female religious figures in the late Victorian Era. Awesome!)
The kids and I go through Proverbs during Bible time every day. Very slowly. We sometimes literally only cover 3-5 verses, but spend the whole 45 minutes allotted (and sometimes need more). That's some heavy discussion. :) There are many things that are just so black and white. Those things often make me just smile and chuckle. How simple it is sometimes, yet humans make it so hard. This is what we had read that day and I posted...
Telling lies about others is as harmful as hitting them with an ax, wounding them with a sword, or shooting them with a sharp arrow. --Proverbs 25:18
Read this with the kids in school today. Words of wisdom. Been on the receiving end of this lots the past few years. I can tell you this is definitely true. And leaves lasting damage. Moral: Just don't do it.
Sooooo much damage done. Wouldn't it be easier if we all just shared, listened, believed each other, and just told the truth?
finally a manhood book i can get behind. not egalitarian, not complementarian...just Jesus-arian. :)
love how he starts the book off with jacob and esau...and how different they are. many would probably say (or at least think, given our modern definitions of manhood) that jacob was effeminate and had obviously somehow been 'emasculated' (a favorite word amongst the 'manly men' these days). ..."yet Jacob is the brother with the greater legacy in the kingdom of God."
can't wait to read the whole thing. an excerpt...
~Both Christian and non-Christian authors have couched masculinity in more primal terms. For example, Christian counselor John Eldridge's 'Wild at Heart' and Harvard professor Robert Bly's 'Iron John' both lament the growing number of feminized 'nice guys' needing permission to recover their inner wildness and once again take forceful action in the world. And certainly, men should embrace and ever celebrate their masculinity. But talking about gender raises a number of questions. What does it mean to be a man? Are there distinctives between men and women outside of anatomy? What do we do with the various expressions of masculinity that can exist between two men?~
And more on this ridiculous word 'emasculation'...something I read around the same time:
I don't think anyone should be emasculating anyone (because I literally don't get it — if someone can do that to you so easily, perhaps the foundation upon which you've built your identity is more harmful than helpful?), much less yelling at a dude to "be a man already!" — to me this is part of the whole problem. But I suspect this happens in relationships where "being a man" is cited often as an essential identity in every choice and in the power balance of the relationship. Where being a man and a woman is some huge part of how things are decided and felt. Where these terrible scripts for how to act "because you're a man or woman" leave us all feeling less connected and we try to make sense of differences through this script instead of putting aside the mask of gender and just hashing out what we need from each other.
To be clear: Gender identity is not inherently bad in the slightest — liking even popularly held notions about what it means to be a man or a woman can be enormously satisfying and complementary. But each of us must arrive at these identities in ways that are healthy and well-adjusted for us. And by using these identities to pit men and women as oppositional, we muddy that potential harmony both within ourselves and with others. One of them involves two equal deliberate players speaking sentences out loud, and the other places women forever in service to men as caretakers of this delicate male ego. Funny, then, that there is no real equivalent word in the popular lore for a man reducing a woman's femininity by simply being awesome in the world.
in a church culture that would rather not know 'the real you' with your 'real problems'...that would rather just hold on to their *perceptions* of you instead of knowing truth and being bothered with anything other than rosy things...
the 'sinners' so often have it right. may the church truly learn from them.
Sept. 22nd:
~If a husband tells a wife that she is "equal in worth," but demands that he has the final say on important matters and claims that his opinion/authority holds heavier weight than hers in the family unit, then is she really equal in worth?~
--Jory Micah
(hint: the answer is no)
I got some interesting comments on this one. So, I'm going to share those here. It just shows how conditioned us women are at using other methods (other than truth and honesty) to be heard, and even 'get our way' as she put it):
Commenter #1: Why can't we be different? Different gender, different color, different culture. How about we listen to each other and compromise? Use your intelligence. Your suggestion was his in the first place. Also works with co-workers, students, children and bosses.
Commenter # JS instead of complaining, use your intelligence. I get my students, even my bosses at times to see my side by getting them to think that it was their idea. If you don't like what I just said I'm sure you will delete it smile emoticon. Just sometimes easier to do things the back door way. smile emoticon
Michawn Madden Ebersolesmile emoticon interesting that you see this as 'complaining.' because the truth is that *this* is using my intelligence...to point out a horrible, rampant, destructive theology that is taught within our churches and culture. i'm not interested in using a 'back door.' i shouldn't have to. ESPECIALLY within a marriage relationship. that is just another way of using 'manipulation'...which is just as bad. i prefer truthful, in-the-light ways. like...being true equals.
Commenter #1: You want to be right or do you want to be happy? Pick your battles. And this comes from someone who knew you growing up. This comes from someone who went through a divorce ( more horrible than you know). This comes from someone who raised three children by herself for ten years. You can't have it all the way you think it should be. Just ask me.
Michawn Madden Ebersolei completely disagree with your last comment. and, i want to live a right *life.* being on the right *path.* i'm not going to 'pick my battles' when it involves having to choose between being on the right path or wrong path. there are right ways of doing things (Godly, righteous, Bible-based ways)...there are right belief systems. and that is what this is about. not 'trying to get my way.'
Commenter #1: There's more than you to think about. I might have done things differently back when I had that choice. Be still. Think. Try everything. And anything. Forget about these people on Facebook and your blog. Remember who matters most. Here's a hint.... It's not your husband or you. It's who you BOTH made.
Michawn Madden Ebersoleanother p.s.: this wasn't directed at my husband or about him...or me trying to get my way with him. this way of thinking for him was purged out of him (praise God) with our week-long intensive counseling session. but, it definitely remains in the church as a whole...it permeates God's people. and it is very, very destructive. it is killing marriage after marriage...it almost destroyed mine. and it's turning people into manipulators instead of truth-tellers.
Michawn Madden Ebersolefirst of all, read the above comment...again, this, thankfully, isn't my situation anymore. but...
really? who do you think i've been thinking about this whole time...for all of these years? guess what...that is WHY i would NEVER turn into a manipulator just to stay married. thank God i could stay a truth-teller and stay married (thank God we actually found a WISE man to counsel us finally). otherwise, i would be divorced. because i will *not* set an example of manipulation for my kids...that does just as much (or more) damage than divorce. that is something i know.
Michawn Madden Ebersolecrazy. you must not really read my posts if you think i sound 'so not happy.' i post things that are happy and carefree. i also post things that are more serious and point out crappy things about the church/world. posting about important issues doesn't = 'not happy.' interesting.
Commenter #3: As iron sharpens iron could probably be your mantra, Michawn Madden Ebersole! Personally I love it because I don't really have a filter AT ALL! I get that it isn't everyone's cup of tea and it is more fun to read between the lines and invent than take things at face value in our hyper sensitized world, but spoken or not TRUTH is TRUTH! I don't want rocks and stones doing the job I should be doing. Sometimes the greatest love there is is speaking the truth in love, sanding down those rough spots, and getting to the heart of a matter! After all, the me Jesus died for is the real me, not the glossed over version that others are comfortable with. smile emoticon love ya!
Commenter #4: Michawn Madden Ebersole I agree! I have never been able to manipulate...& I don't understand why someone would want to manipulate. There should be equality in marriage in decisions, discussions...,. I can not stand to be treated like a child, why would I want to act like a child (manipulation)?
That is also the discussion that brought about probably my favorite comment ever. A meme made just for me by a college friend of mine. Hahaha. He (my friend) cracks me up!!
OMG, seriously...one of my favorites. Especially after all the backlash and pushback I have gotten in the past few years. My friend who made this is very smart, very funny, keeps it real, has an egalitarian viewpoint, and has had my back a few times in the past year (which, I cannot tell you just how much that means to me)...not because we are super tight (no, most of my 'super tight' friends and family members have gone), but just because he is able to see wrong when it rears its ugly head and isn't afraid to jump in and speak up and defend a friend, always in the most intelligent, loving way. He also always knows just when to step in and break the ice too...with a funny something or other like this. Hilarious. I might have to make it my profile picture one day. LOL.
I am...Michawn. I am married to Joel. He is a pilot/mechanic. We have 4 fabulous kiddos...Grady (13), Hadley (12), Eissa (10 1/2), and Cass (9). See that picture up there? Yes, they've really grown up since then. :( Happens fast. I homeschool, which I *love*...wouldn't trade that time with them for anything. We lived in Brazil for 5 years, but almost 5 years ago moved back to the United States. The 'Joel. Michawn.' blog series explains all of that. We still serve with Asas de Socorro (Wings of Help), a Brazilian mission organization...we just now do it remotely. We are still excited about what God has for us and this blog is still a great way for you to see it all daily unfold...but a lot has happened in the past five years. That is what is currently being written about. (This little blip updated in March 2017)
I am passionate about Jesus, my children, reaching others with Jesus' true love and grace, equality for all, and adoption, along with a few other things. :) Praying I do all that God has for me to do in this life.
