The Joel and Michawn Story - Part 2

That was a very difficult time for me. It was a hard time, but also SO AMAZING as far as spiritual growth. After I graduated from college (May '97), instead of returning to Louisiana to live and work, I went to Longview, TX. I had done clinicals in school there at one of the hospitals there and really liked it. I knew nobody in Longview and other than going straight to the hospital and back, I had only been to Longview once or twice (with other people...never driving there myself). I also interviewed at a hospital in Texarkana, TX where I had many friends and was also a little involved with a church there during college. But, I went to that interview knowing that I wouldn't be taking the job...there was absolutely no peace there. Longview...total peace. Didn't make sense, but God knew exactly the right way of course.

I got involved in a church there in Longview called Church on the Rock. AMAZING. Such a wonderful church. The teaching there is phenomenal. In fact, if you ever want to check it out for yourself, just go here for their podcasts. Anyway, I had never heard teaching like this before. It was just SO relevant to everyday living. I mean, I had heard somewhat relevant teaching before, but never so powerful. It just seemed to catapult me. I loved it...and of course needed it so badly. There were great relationships teachings (all kinds of relationships) in "big church." And then in the fall of that year, there was a college and career group started...later to be called Life Challenge. Life Challenge did just that...challenged my life to the core. The teaching...again...phenomenal. The relationships formed with the leadership, friendships made, etc...just incredible. It was life-changing.

I became a part of the leadership team. Did I mention that it was just such an amazing time? :) Anyway, things like accountability groups formed after John Graves, the main leader of Life Challenge, did a teaching on it. He had been really involved in an accountability group and saw the importance of accountability. I was approached by John's wife (Nicole), who I LOVED, but didn't know all that well. We had had lunch together once was all, but I think we just seemed to click. She felt like she should ask me and two other girls that we didn't even really know to join in an accountability group...then also one other girl that she knew pretty well. So, I had a solid group of girls that held me accountability at all costs after that.

Meanwhile, Joel had gone to the states when he was 17 ('94) to finish out high school and then go to college. He went to Longview to go to LeTourneau University (a great Christian university known mainly for engineering, but also aviation) in the fall of '96, which would have been the fall before I moved to Longview. He was very involved in all the great university activities there as well as another Longview church.

Sometime in the spring of '99 is when I first saw him. I walked into Life Challenge and there was a guest band doing praise and worship that day. It was the praise and worship band from LeTourneau. I saw the guy playing keyboards (that would be Joel by the way). I immediately went over to Nicole and said, "Who is that? He is beautiful." Her reply to me was, "Whoa. Settle down girl." So funny.

During this time between my junior year of college and 1999, I had undergone a total transformation basically. Like I said, I was never a big dater or anything. I was never one who "needed" a boyfriend...almost the opposite even. My heart's desire, though, was to be married and have children. That's what I wanted to do with my life. During this time, thankfully, I just began to see that there was such a better way to go about doing that whole "hooking up" thing. John and Nicole and others that I had come to know and admire had such awesome stories of how they got together...how GOD brought them together supernaturally. No dating the world's way, not even courting to see if you mesh with someone Josh Harris' way (I Kissed Dating Goodbye was a popular book at the time)...just purely, simply, explicitly GOD. I expected no less for how it was to happen for me.

And more to come in Part 3.

And because I like to provide visuals and love pictures...here are a few more fun ones from that time...

Me and Alisha (Ali in the comments). She is my best friend from college and was at the time going through training to be on staff with Campus Crusade. I flew to Florida to visit her for a few days during her training. How fun is that!
I lived in an apartment by myself for 2 years after college. Then, I moved in a house with these incredibles chics. It was so great!
Friends from Life Challenge.
Friends from college. Some of them I had gone to high school with too. SO FUN.
Out to eat with friends from college/high school again. SO FUN. "Everybody say sex" (inside joke...that's what the lady taking the picture told us as she took this picture...in a REALLY country accent).
A Life Challenge party and baptism at John and Nicole Graves' place.
The church youth group Joel was involved in (at Fellowship Bible in Longview) in his early days of college.
With some friends from LeTourneau. He is still in touch with these guys. In fact, the 4 in the middle and Joel went on a camping trip together right before we left to come to Brasil.
Such a fun guy.
A couple of summers during college, Joel went to work at a Christian camp in West Virginia. He was a guide for white-water rafting, hiking, rock climbing, and caving. He LOVED it of course. Here he is with a couple of friends at the summit of a hike.
Taking a break...West Virginia.
White water rafting the New River in West Virginia.
A Wal-Mart trip gone bad with friends in West Virginia.

The Joel and Michawn Story - Part 1

This first part will be just a history of both of our lives basically. Although that might seem tedious and trivial, it is, in fact, important to get the background behind it all. So, here goes...

Joel was born and raised in Brasil as you all know. Brasil is VERY...well, let's just say that there are couples EVERYWHERE. It is just THE thing. Everyone has a boyfriend or girlfriend. And usually they are making out...no matter where they are. :) Seriously. They're a pretty affectionate culture.

His dad was a pastor and they are from a pretty conservative background. His mom and dad are both from Pennsylvania and have roots in the Mennonite church, which is very conservative. Growing up, Joel doesn't remember much conversation about what was expected as far as dating, although he says that surely they did talk about it since he knew what was expected. He does recall asking them about dating on one occasion. He remembers being told that maybe when he was 18 he could date (that is his memory anyway). He says that he's sure they also got teaching about it in their youth group, but it must not be very memorable...they weren't allowed to date in his youth group though is what he says. He said that and then I asked him "did you date in your youth group?" He nodded yes.

Anyhoo, without going into great detail...he wasn't exactly following the expectations of others. But, he was always an innocent and protected-by-God guy. Dated, did other things that weren't what we, as parents, want our children to do...but, he remained what the world considers very pure. He never got his heart very involved in any of his dating relationships...his longest dating relationship being "probably 6 months." :) Obviously nothing serious...until me that is.

I also grew up in a Christian home. I dated some during high school. We talked about it in youth group and I also don't remember it really being discussed too much at home...but, we knew what was expected. The focus in the teaching we got in youth group wasn't the heart though...and not the spiritual aspects of dating...just the physical stuff that wasn't supposed to happen. The whole "sex is for after marriage" thing...that was it basically. It's a good rule of course, but it's just not very thorough. I seriously don't remember much else than that being said.

I went out with a few guys during high school, but nothing serious. The longest relationship for me was 3 months...twice (with 2 different guys). One guy I had known all my life. We used to get in trouble singing and laughing during naptime in Kindergarten. Funny. The other guy was when I was a senior. I think since I thought I was going to be married by the time I was 19 (like my Mama), I figured he was the one I was going to marry. It was really Godly and spiritual the way I was coming up with that (ha)...thank God he didn't actually ask me to marry him or anything. But, this was the first relationship that I even remotely got my heart involved in. And...I do mean remotely. He broke it off and it took me all of a week to get over it. :)

Sidenote: When I mention something about the heart being involved, I mean that I (or Joel) was not fully in the relationship. The heart is still being affected and I truly believe that...but, what I mean is that we weren't crushed at the end of these relationships you see.

Anyway, after I graduated, there was a guy that I had been friends with for a while. He was a great guy and we started going out. We ended up going out for a record-breaking 3 1/2 years (way more than the old record of 3 months, right?). With this relationship I was seriously crushed when it was over...my heart was in a million little pieces and I had no idea what my next step was. My heart had been all the way in since we'd started. I was completely and head over heels in love with this guy. I mean, what wasn't to like...he was just great all the way around...loved God, lived for Him, was smart, funny, fun, good at all he did...was my best friend. Funny thing though...he was a great guy...one of the best. BUT...he wasn't the best one for me. That is key.

We had crossed some lines at the very first of our relationship, but had gotten back on track with God and with our relationship...another thing to be proud of and another reason to think that he was definitely the one for me. We had talked at length about everything, including our lives after marriage...in 3 1/2 years you can make all the plans you ever need to make all the way through retirement (and we had). :) My whole life was set I thought. I had it all completely planned out and it was a good life...even a life that "lived for God." Problem was that God didn't want that life for me. It was the spring semester of my junior year of college when we broke up.

Wow, only a year of school left and then what? All the plans that I had made were no longer to be. I RAN to God and of course He met me. Long story short, it basically took me 4 full years to be completely healed of that relationship...for God to fully restore and heal my heart.

And then...Part 2.

"Shut Your Pie Hole"

That's what you are saying, isn't it? I've rambled on for more than a week now. You just want me to shut it and post some dadgum pictures of the kids, don't you?

Well, truth is that I have more rambling to do. But, in my defense it is requested rambling. Amber, Crystal, and Alisha asked a while back that I tell the story of how Joel and I met and got together. Well, "it is finished." I typed it all out this weekend. And believe me...you have some reading to do. I had told Amber at one point that it would be in at least 3 parts. Well, I was wrong. I have 7 blog posts so far...and I'm not even quite done. So, more than a week's worth of Joel and Michawn for you. Figured I'd better get some kids on here today, right?

First, a little update on the kiddos for you...

Grady - SUCH a conversationalist these days. Some days he just talks and talks about everything under the sun...quite the chatterbox. But, he can be very pensive, quiet, and thoughtful too. He'll sit quietly for a very long time...then sometimes after that he'll say, "You know what I'm thinking about, Mama?" Cute. He and Hadley are playing SO GREAT together these days. They are playing family, strolling their dolls around, going to their house (under the table) one minute...then they are climbing trees picking berries (we have a pitanga tree and a mulberry tree)...then they are going into outer space...then Hadley is running in the house because the Grady dinosaur is after her. They have great imaginations. Grady loves to not only talk normally, he loves to make up words too...some are his "Portuguese"...some are just made-up. He's super duper sweet and very complimentary. He goes on and on about how good the food is at mealtime. :) He'll say to Hadley after she gets dressed, "Wow, you look so pretty." He runs up and kisses my hand totally out of the blue a few times a day. He's just very sweet. He can be rough and tumble too though...and loves to climb the trees (spends hours doing that), ride his bicycle really fast, and play baseball and soccer.

Hadley - Also has become a very impressive conversationalist. Her facial expressions crack us up. Sometimes if we tell her to do something, she will put her hands on her hips and say in a very exasperated way, "Mama, I can't do that now." It's nothing defiant, just funny. I'm sure she's mimicking what she's heard from us when we are busy. Of course her "busy" is a little relative. She is very funny and a little crazy sometimes. :) The big news in Hadley's world is that we potty-trained her on Saturday. I so love waiting so long to do that...it's done in one day. She LOVES her babies and is very motherly. She asks us to wrap her babies in a blanket non-stop throughout the day. She loves to "wear" them too...we make a sling with the blanket. She feeds them, holds them and bounces them, and even puts them to bed including all the normal routine given her (book, closing curtains, turning on the fan, and closing the door). I suspect she'll be LOTS of help come March.

Asa - Asa is all over the place. She's super friendly as usual. She blows kisses all the time now. She repeats things you say or noises you make. For instance, today she dropped her cup and I said "Uh-oh." So, she dropped her cup over and over and each time she said, "Uh-oh." It was funny. I think the next step for little Asa is going to rock her little world...we plan to take the passy (pacifier) away soon. She also has started some fit-throwing when she doesn't want to be put down on the floor that we are going to have to "deal with." :) But, she's so super fun and such a happy little girl. She climbs ALL the time...but, when given boundaries is very compliant very quickly. She's a smart little thing. She loves to be outside...and LOVES her older brother and sister. This morning she woke up before they did. I fed her and everything, but could not get a smile out of her. Then...Grady walked in the kitchen. That did it...ear-to-ear from then on out. She still takes 2 naps a day and eats like a little horse. :) She also loves babies...real ones and dolls. She'll walk around with a baby doll, rocking it, and saying, "Aww-eee" or "Ay ay."

Anyway...just some tidbits about the kiddos. Enjoy the pictures.


The kids and their bikes. We had just gotten Hadley's out of the car from the store.
Love her poses...she gets a little crazy sometimes.
Smiling with her big piece of purple bubble gum.
Talking to Daddy.
We bought this little pool in Phoenix when Grady was a baby...never took it out of the box...until now. Yep, here it is in Brasil. :) The kids love to cool off in it on the days it doesn't rain and gets really hot.
It's officially rainy season here now. Every afternoon, almost without fail (and sometimes other times too...last night it rained during the night), there comes a little thunderstorm. It's nice. Really cools things off...in fact, doesn't ever get really hot here as long as there's a rain every day. Here Joel and the girls are playing in it a little bit.
Grady saw the water on the walkway and decided to fix the problem. So, he went and fetched the squeegee and went to work pushing the water down the drain.
The view from the front of our house. The people living in the houses are the faculty and staff of the seminary. They are really great people.
Daddy followed Grady's lead and got a squeegee too. Hadley couldn't be left out of the fun, so she went and got the broom.
Grady with his new haircut.
Every night after supper and showers, they have a little time of reading in their beds before a Bible story, prayer, and lights out.
Reading a story to their baby (in the blanket) before they put her down for a nap.
Notice the pretty pink training pants. She doesn't have a lot of meat on her bones in that area, so they fit her, but look more like shorts. :) Cute.
Getting in on some tune playing.
Mangoes are now starting to be ready around here. We have a load of trees here where we live on the seminary campus. So excited about that. Joel and the kids went for a little walk to find their afternoon snacks. The next few pictures are of that snack session.

Notice how Grady and Joel are holding the same pose. :)

Dish duty.
Working hard outside.
Peek-a-boo.
A nice swing in the hammock with Daddy.
Back from a walk with Daddy with a bag full of mangoes. 2nd day in a row to go on a mango walk.
All ready for church last night.

Hard To Give Up

Along the lines of pregnancy, please be praying for me about the birth...and for us and our decisions regarding it.

Man, have I loved my homebirths! And, most especially, with Asa...the whole water birth thing, I had my favorite midwife in the world there, etc. In my thoughts of this birth coming up, that is SO SAD to me to give up. Seriously, when I say so sad, I mean that I am on the verge of tears when I think about it. That was so important and special to us.

It's just not an option here though. We had originally thought that we may even be able to have Sylyna (my midwife from Texas) come down. She had talked about, before we left, coming down and delivering our babies for us here. She and some of her midwife friends have a real passion for that, considering it part of their ministry...traveling to deliver babies for the missionaries they know. It seems far-fetched at first, but when put that way...it's part of what they feel is their calling and ministry...it just might work. And, in fact, it does. Some of them have done just that. Well, it doesn't seem that it is going to work this time though. There are 3 reasons:

1. Sylyna's daughter is due with a baby also on Feb. 29th. Sylyna is supposed to be with her a month to help out. (my due date is Mar. 22nd)
2. Sylyna is also in school, to get her nurse midwife's degree I believe (she is a nurse and she is a lay midwife...she is now meshing the 2). She said this would probably not be a problem...that she could probably schedule around it, but still there is the #1 to deal with.
3. In Texas, Sylyna was linked and in contact with doctors who would take over and assume care if something went arry. Of course, that rarely ever ever happens, but if something should go wrong, that is always a consideration. Here she wouldn't have that. I mean, I'm sure in the end that wouldn't be an issue either...it could be set up that we could have that with the doctor I would be getting prenatal care with, but still a consideration.

Anyway, we just have lots of decisions to make and things to consider. We plan to go to all the hospitals and check things out...take tours. We also plan to hopefully interview/see several doctors until we find just the right one. Our prayer is that we go to just the right one right off the bat...and we know the perfect hospital for us immediately when we walk in the doors.

Some of the things that we have to possibly "go up against" are the practices done here. C-sections are done at an 80-90% rate here (depending on the region of the country). Episiotomies are standard. The typical hospital stuff is procedure, therefore not being able to move around or lie on my side (although we did hear of one place that is more progressive towards things that we are more used to and prefer, such as a birthing bed that allows the option of squatting, etc., so that part is encouraging). They have just recently stopped routinely shaving for birth even...total shocker to me that my friend had to be shaved during labor...yikes. And, some still do the enema thing. Not good, I tell you. Thankfully, having had 3 children naturally and normally on my own...well, that puts me way ahead of the ballgame. And, considering that I birthed really big babies...at home...without episiotomies (or shaving or enemas for that matter)...it shouldn't be a problem my friend's doctor friend told me. But, those things are always a concern and something you have to consider when choosing a doctor and hospital.

Pray for me esp. to have peace in all this, esp. considering the language barrier and not always knowing what's going on. My friend was already basically fluent when she delivered her first child here, but funny thing happened during labor. She couldn't speak a lick of Portuguese. Her brain went completely back to English. Funny huh? Well, not so funny I guess. :(

If you've always had a hospital birth and esp. if you've not done the all-natural thing, you may not even almost be able to relate. But, then again, maybe you can...if you think of it in terms of just doing the opposite of what you really yearn to do...not having your favorite doctor there, not having an epidural, etc.

Anyway, please just pray for us in those regards. Of course we know that God is going to take care of us in every possible way and provide all that we need. We can rest in that. But, keep the prayers going so that that will happen...that we will recognize that provision and be at peace. Thanks.

I do now have an appointment set up (finally) with a recommended doctor. I will be going to see her on Thursday, November 22nd. Happy Thanksgiving, huh? :) I guess there are worse things you can do on Thanksgiving. That just happened to be the earliest we could get in. Thanksgiving isn't celebrated here, obviously, so we are just rolling with it.

Thanks for your prayers.

Poliana - Urgent Request

I got this in the form of an email from our friends Steve and Kristin yesterday. I wanted to pass it on to you all for several reasons. Obviously, the first is to pray for this little girl, this family, and just the whole situation. The other reason is because I just wanted to give you a glimpse of the things that we will be working with here...the situations and ministry opportunities that will come our way in the future. This is not an uncommon situation. It is just the way it is and has always been. The tribes have their traditions and customs. The government organization exists to protect those traditions and customs, it seems at all costs (even life). I think I've mentioned before, for instance, that twins are seen to be born because of an evil spirit...therefore twins are killed. Just another example of this way of life.

Please as you read this, do not look at this tribe with disgust and horror. This is all they know...these things have been "their way" for generations and generations. But instead, pray for them, look to them with hope in what can be done through the saving and transformation of Jesus Christ. That is what will truly change the people and their customs...their hearts; not laws. For a great real-life story of what a transformation looks like for an indigenous people group, just rent "Beyond the Gates" or read any related book on the subject of the Auca indians in Ecuador. Such a great story of redemption, amazing transformation, and forgiveness...something that we can be praying for within the peoples of Brasil.

But, now for the urgent prayer request for a sweet little girl...


Dear Friends and Family,
I’m sure you will remember Poliana from my last email. Since sending that email, I have learned more about her story and I would like to share what I have learned with you. And as some of you suspected, we are one of those families that are interested in adopting her!

I have been in regular contact with Patricia, the missionary who cared for Poliana in the tribe and now in the hospital. Poliana (and consequently Patricia) has been in the hospital for a month now, mostly due to the fact that if the doctors release her, she will be sent right back to the tribe. I asked Patricia why Poliana was rejected by her mother and I was not entirely prepared for the long story that followed.

Poliana’s mother and father were no longer married by the time Poliana was born. The mom is very young and wants to marry again, so having a child by another man is a big problem in their culture if you want to marry again. So the mom gave Poliana to her sister to kill. The aunt went into the jungle to get leaves to stuff down Poliana’s throat to suffocate her and left Poliana lying on the ground. Another sister of the mother saw what was going on and took Poliana to the mother’s mom (Poliana’s grandmother). The grandmother didn’t want to take care of her either, so she took Poliana to Patricia and told her that nobody wanted the child and she was going to throw her into the river if the missionary didn’t want her. Of course, Patricia took Poliana. Soon after, another sister of the mom (3rd sister in the story and her name is Rebeca) came and told Patricia that she wanted to have Poliana because she only had sons and wanted a daughter. Patricia gave Poliana to her and kept trying to supply for Poliana by offering milk to the aunt to give to Poliana. Rebeca must have mental/emotion instability because she would starve Poliana and refuse the food from Patricia. Patricia heard the baby crying from hunger so she kept begging Rebeca to let her give Poliana milk, but the Rebeca repeatedly refused. Then the following day Rebeca would show up and and give Poliana to Patricia to feed as if nothing had happened the day before. Rebeca beat Poliana regularly, often bringing Poliana back from the jungle with black eyes from the abuse. The grandma even tried to rescue Poliana a second time when she saw two big marks on Poliana’s chest from where Rebeca BIT her so hard that she left raised up, purple marks that became infected. Unfortunately, it wasn’t difficult for Rebeca to find out who took the baby and she promptly took her back from the grandmother. Everyone is afraid of Rebeca because she has already killed two people in their community…her own father and another woman. So the violence against Poliana continued to the point that she suffered from paralysis on the left side of her body, pierced ear drums, and lesions on her brain. There is a lot of talk going around in the community about Rebeca and the stir-up that the situation with Poliana has caused. Rebeca is now anxious for Poliana to be returned so she can kill Poliana and put an end to the talk. When someone dies in the Yanomami culture, you must never again speak that person’s name. It is hard to believe that this is for real and not a movie, huh? There are people in the community that want Poliana back, but only for trading purposes. Not to mention the fact that Rebeca will kill her with the first chance she gets. However, the government organization that is “in charge” of all indigenous affairs (FUNAI) will send Poliana back for sure if the decision is left to them. They don’t care what happens to Poliana…if the community wants her back, she has to go. Patricia has given her testimony and the process in underway to remove Poliana from the authority of FUNAI. This is VERY hard (close to impossible), but we are praying that God opens the doors for this. Humanly speaking, it is our only hope of saving Poliana.

On a happier note, Poliana has regained her hearing and the paralysis is almost completely gone. She is grasping things in her left hand, but she doesn’t have a lot of strength in that hand yet. The physical therapists are quite sure that she will regain full strength of her hand with continued therapy. Poliana turned 11 months old on Nov. 3 and continues to charm and surprise the doctors and therapists with her happy spirit and quick recovery. She is constantly fighting off viruses that circulate in the hospital, but compared to what she has already been through, those are small battles!

In the meantime, Steve and I continue the process for adoption here in Anápolis. First, because those who work in the adoption department of social services told us that if we are approved for adoption here, it will greatly facilitate our process being approved in Boa Vista, where Poliana is. Second, we are very aware of the fact that we are in an uphill battle when it comes to Poliana. Besides needing the miracle of removing the authority of FUNAI, it is also highly unlikely that the judge would give Poliana to a North American instead of a Brazilian. In our favor, Steve is legally Brazilian, but the fact that I am not and that we are linked to a mission in the United States could be a problem. In light of all these obstacles, we don’t want to close the door on an opportunity for adoption that could come our way here in Anápolis. Of course right now, we are concentrating on Poliana until God closes doors to show us that this is not His will. Patricia has told me that she feels a peace about us adopting Poliana, and that means an awful lot to me because Patricia has been and continues to be a mother figure for Poliana. Patricia would have to stop her work in the Yanomami tribe and leave the mission agency that she works with in order to adopt Poliana herself, so for now she is hoping and praying that we can be Poliana’s family.


Here is how you can pray with us:

»Pray for Poliana to be liberated from the authority of FUNAI

»Pray for us to be sensitive to God’s leading

»There could be lawyer fees, airfares to purchase, etc. if the process of adopting Poliana continues. With the dollar continuing to drop, we do not have a reserve for these expenses. We are trusting that God will provide the means should we get to this point in the process.

Once again, we thank you for your prayers and continued support. Poliana needs our prayers for this fight she is in for her life.


Hugs to all,
Kristin

Steve & Kristin VanBeveren
Avant Ministries – Brazil
Missionary Flight Training

Critters

Lots of times people are interested in the wildlife that we see here. So, I'll give you the lowdown on what we have seen so far. Disclaimer: None of these pictures are our own...all pirated off the internet.


We see lizards...the big lizards, not the little lizards we are used to seeing in the states. I haven't seen too many and they don't bother you or anything, but I've seen a few crawling on the walls surrounding our backyard. Something like the one in the picture.

Joel saw a snake on our patio a while back. It was so ferocious that he thought it was a worm and stepped over it. When he saw it crawling he decided to kill it. It had the coloring of a coral snake and apparently, we've been told, that the "red touch yellow, kill a fellow" (or whatever it is) doesn't apply here. We, as well as the guy telling us that, don't know what the accurate coloring for a actual coral here is. But, I'm fine with just killing all the snakes we see personally. That's the only one so far though. I know you all know what a coral snake looks like...just imagine it worm size. :)

We've seen a few of these in our house. These are centipedes. I don't like them. They are poisonous, but not the get-bitten-and-you-die kind of poisonous. Supposedly it just inflicts pain and discomfort...similar to bee or wasp stings (unless you are allergic). They are really fast crawlers and generally just give me the heebie jeebies.

We see lots of spiders also. They are medium-size spiders and I have no idea what kind they are...the kind you kill is all I know. They aren't the tarantula size spiders or anything. Although I really have no problem with tarantulas...I had tarantulas as pets when I was in high school. But, if I found one in my house unexpectedly I think I'd have a problem with that. And spiders in general don't bother me that much...they were practically my roommates when I lived in the prayer room at the Graves' before I got married. But still...spiders that are not invited must die. Besides, when you have small defenseless children sleeping in your house...there's more of an urgency...all critters must die.


Last but not least, our friends, the millipedes. These we see ALL the time. I seriously kill at least 10 a day...and that's a very good day. They are not harmful...they are just bothersome. I found one crawling on my side of the bed one day...not comforting I tell you (thankfully that's the only time I've seen one somewhere other than the floor). But, you just touch it with a napkin or tissue, it balls up like in this next picture, and then crunch and toss. :) It's just part of my everyday routine now. Eeesh.


Oh, and just day before yesterday we had some larva of some sort. I picked up a load of laundry to put in the washer and there they were...lots of them. The laundry room is near our trash. Eliane (our house help) said she thought they came from the trash. Lovely. We killed away and cleaned really good of course, so hopefully they will not be a returning uninvited guest.

We haven't seen anything dreadfully out of the ordinary yet. But, the problem is that we don't know of any exterminators here...as in that is not an option here. So, what do people do? They just continue to crunch and toss I guess.

One of our friends told us that he thought there was an exterminator here. We need to pry some answers out of him next time we seen him. Our other friend, Kristin, who has been here longer said she's never heard of an exterminator. But, we need to clarify. Kristin told us to please inform her of one if we find one. She thought she had rats in her attic. Turns out...nope...bats. They've killed 6 bats to date. I think I'd rather the rats, but actually...I'll take my millipedes any day over either of those critters.

Oh, The Havoc!

The Halloween havoc that is. What I mean is that Halloween can sure wreak havoc among the people of God, can't it? Lots of things can, but there's nothing more polarized as the opinions of Christians when it comes to Halloween.

I don't have all the answers for even myself, much less other people. My friend Brock posted about it the other day and I rambled on non-stop some of my thoughts.

People's opinions and convictions, though, range from "It's no big deal...dress your kid up as a witch and go get some candy dangit" to "Dress up and go get candy, but dress up in non-horror/non-evil costumes" to "Have an outreach at church...maybe even dress up but only as Bible characters...but, none of this trick-or-treating or pumpkin carving for heaven's sake" to "That is the devil's holiday and Christians don't need to do ANYTHING...I can't believe you are even discussing this." :) I've seriously heard the extremes of this (and even more) and all in between. I'm sure you have too.

What's a sweet little Christian to do?

Well, up until I read this post, I had no idea either. But, this post on my friend's blog seems the MOST like Jesus that I've ever heard...and the most logical for every family on the face of the planet. It's not just what they did...as you'll read in her post. I do love what they did to celebrate (or not celebrate...whatever you may label it) Halloween. But, I most love the approach they took to it...and the non-condemning approach that they have toward what they feel other families should do.

Personally, I am not on either extreme. I've never felt right about doing nothing. I detest that approach actually. Seems to me we should counteract instead of boycott...I personally hate the "call to" boycott...it just rubs me the wrong way. I'm obviously not on the side of "going all the way" with Halloween either. I do not take the devil and his schemes lightly. We are supposed to be on guard at all times, are we not? We are supposed to guard ourselves and we, as parents, are responsible for the guarding of our children and teaching them to do the same. So, be reassured...it's not a light subject to me...hence, the pondering of the topic for literally years.

We've gone to Fall Festivals when we were part of churches that did that. We've seen some really impressive results of those kinds of outreaches actually. We've never actually dressed the kids up, although we've never lived anywhere where our friends did that at all when it was Halloween. If we'd ever spent a Halloween in Saline, would we have dressed the kids up and taken them to our relatives' houses to get candy and show off their costumes? I really don't know. Maybe so.

Again, personally we've never really done anything at all (other than the Fall Festivals...sometimes circumstances just weren't right...bad weather, sickness, just had a baby, etc.). But, I've always thought about the possibility of meeting people where they are. Sometimes the "great divide" between Christians and non-Christians is a bit too wide in my opinion. Maybe dress the kids up, go door-to-door, maybe let the kids get candy and maybe not, but instead of only taking something, we could pass out teaching tapes (nothing lame mind you) or really cool anointed Christian CD's (Delirious, etc.). Maybe even really talk to them and get to know them (our neighbors after all). I mean, when else in the year are your neighbors sitting on the edge of their seats just waiting for you to come to their doors? Talk about some prayer walking/outreach possibilities. If worried about giving the devil a foothold in "participating" in Halloween...well, I don't think the devil would actually be that happy about this approach. In fact, I'd say you'd do quite a bit of damage to the devil's plans. Or...there's my friend's option, as earlier mentioned.

The point is that there are so many different creative ways to do something and not nothing. If one feels that nothing is definitely what they should do, by all means, don't go against your convictions. But, I do hate that some feel this "nothing" approach is the only way.

What would Jesus have you do for Halloween next year? Maybe it just isn't so black and white.

More On Portuguese

I started taking Portuguese classes the end of August...actually Aug. 21st. Around the first part of October we started praying about classes and just how to spend my time exactly.

Although I only have classes a total of 4 hours a week, basically 2 full mornings a week are shot, meaning that I don't get to do my normal routine...without routine, things are a bit out of whack. In addition to those 2 full mornings, there is also time spent doing homework...equaling about another 4 hours a week...most of the time an average of 2 hours of homework time for every 2 hours of class time. It just takes a lot of time figuring things out and looking up translations and such.

Being as my priorities go like this:
1. God
2. husband
3. children
4. completing my duties to my family
5. other - church, relationships, things like Portuguese

Well, we were just weighing all the options. Also considering my teacher's teaching style...we have Portuguese conversation. We have great material/textbooks. She also gives me other great assignments...reading articles in magazines, reading books in Port., watching Port. movies, etc. I really do love the way she has taught me and it has really done 2 things...given me a great catapult into the Portuguese language and given me a great foundation to work upon...but, I was feeling the need for more. I needed more vocabulary, more grammar, etc. I am a pretty black and white person by nature. I'm sure that contributes to my learning style and that need. I think that it is extremely important to learn a language by speaking it and hearing it...just diving in there and doing it, even if you don't know exactly how to do it yet. But, like I said...at that point (the beginning of October), I felt the need for more starting to develop.

Of course what I was doing was just doing the vocabulary and grammar part on my own. I actually have some GREAT resources...the material that my Portuguese teacher has been using to work with me, several great websites that I found, and also the best of all in my opinion, I have the Rosetta Stone software for Portuguese. Now that doesn't replace the actual speaking and hearing the language, but that happens naturally all the time in my little Brazilian world, now doesn't it? The bottom line is that I did not have the time to go to classes AND do the amount of work that I was doing on my own with the vocab. and grammar...I didn't have the time to do that AND keep up with the things that are actually Numbers 1-4 on my priority list. So...

We began to pray about it. By the end of October, that need that I was feeling was more than a need...it was a pure dee necessity. We knew and felt peace about stopping classes...at least for November. So, as it stands now, I am "taking a break." The plan is to just do what I've been doing, except not go to classes. I'm continuing to work with material, study from the websites, and go through my Rosetta Stone. Along with that I'm just talking to the people in my life. At the end of November we will re-evaluate and see if I need to start the classes back up or if I'm doing just fine without them. I actually have 8 hours of credit with my teacher as a result of either her or me having to cancel during October (sickness/travel, etc.). So, always an option is just scheduling time with her as needed. She has many students who just schedule time with her if they need a little refresher course before travel or if they are at a point where they just need some questions answered, etc. But, we'll see...

I'm excited to see how this all pans out. Right now I am once again excited about my Portuguese study. At the end I was dreading classes because I felt like I wasn't getting what I needed exactly, but was sacrificing my time with my kids and other duties anyway. Not a good feeling.

We are glad that we stepped back and really evaluated what was important to us and how we could better meet those goals and priorities. We'll keep you posted on how it goes and what we conclude at the end of this month.

Ahh...Portuguese

Learning another language is a weird thing. I took a semester of Spanish in high school and then another semester of Spanish in college (actually that was a class called "Spanish for Medical Professionals" so it was mostly just related to hospital/medical settings). But, I learned most of my Spanish in just living...going on mission trips, talking to different people, simply listening. I could speak it some...mildly even get by and carry on a small conversation. But, I never had to LEARN it...a very different thing.

Some interesting things about Portuguese and learning another language:

1. There are so many dang verbs. HELLO!! How many stinkin' verbs do you need. It's so dadgum ridiculous. Even the Brazilians think so. They just roll their eyes and say, "I know." They complain about how they can't even keep up with them. :) Go here and see for yourself. A few of them are not used that often. But...still people. In English, if I want to say the verb 'speak', it's simple...I speak, she speaks, they speak, we speak. Speak, spoke, spoken, had spoken. There are things you have to learn, but nothing of the magnitude of Portuguese. Seriously...ridiculous. I'm treading through though. My portuguese teacher ordered a dictionary of the Portuguese verbs, so that will be helpful. See...a dictionary of only verbs. Different.

2. I asked Joel last night if he thought in 2 languages. He said that at this point he thinks in English since he spent so many years there. I wonder if he thought in 2 languages when he first arrived in the states...I'll have to ask him that. But, right now, if I know the phrase in Portuguese and am saying it in English, I think of it in Portuguese. For instance, yesterday Hadley asked me something and I said, "I don't know." Immediately on the tip of my tongue and at the forefront of my thoughts was "Eu nao sei." When I say, "I think..." I always think "Eu acho..." It's weird. It's good I guess...means I'm learning and starting to have the words needed there, like I said, on the tip of my tongue. But...still weird. Whatever words and phrases I know in Portuguese at this point come up when I use the English equivalents. I'm sure this will not always be...it's probably just because I'm in the process of learning and my mind is going "ding ding, I know that one" whenever I say something in English that I know in Portuguese. But, it happens alot now that I am able to hold actual conversations with people. :) It's funny. My poor mind is working double time.

3. Even though I know the words in Portuguese, they don't really mean anything to me yet. That has been the weirdest part to me I think. For instance, when I tell someone "thank you," I don't feel like I've really expressed and sincerely told them "thank you" until I actually say the words "thank you" in English. "Obrigada" just doesn't cut it for me. It cuts it for them obviously since that is literally "thank you" to them. But, it's just a strange word to me...it doesn't truly express how I feel. So, I'm actually praying about that...that I not only learn the Portuguese language, but that it has meaning to me too.
It reminds me of 2 things...when I was in college I had a friend from Mexico named Jesus. He was actually originally from Spain, but had moved to Mexico as a boy. But, he told me once that he would never tell a girl he loved her in English. When he actually did love a girl, it wouldn't really mean anything to him to say it in English...only Spanish. I thought that was very intriguing and of course couldn't relate to him at all. But, now I can.
Another thing that kind of relates to this is that my friend and former roommate is from Honduras. She was truly saved though only after she lived in the states. I asked her if, when she was alone, having her quiet time and such, if she prayed and all in Spanish or English. She told me that since all of her Christianity had been experienced in the states, it was all in English. She found it a bit awkward/not natural to pray in Spanish.
So strange the relationships we have with language.

4. It takes longer to say things in Portuguese. Almost everything, every word, every phrase, is longer in Portuguese as compared to English...more words in the phrase, more syllables in the word, etc. This seems a bit trivial, but when you are trying to learn, it's not. It seems daunting and you start to say, "You know, it is so much easier and quicker to say this in English." :) For instance, "Joel's house" is "casa de Joel"...longer. There are many examples of this obviously since seriously, practically all that I've run across is longer in Portuguese. Funny.

5. Another thing that I find confusing is the situation with the adverbs/adjectives. They generally go after the subject they are describing (opposite of English), BUT, wouldn't you know...that's not always the case. It is just a matter of time, but I haven't yet studied that out very well to know the rules, so...confusing.

6. A friend of mine that is learning Spanish and living in Peru said on one of her blog posts that she just felt like screaming, "I'm not this stupid in English!!" I thought that was hilarious. Well, I have never thought of myself as that smart...I get by and am not dumb, but that's just not my thing. However, I've always been really relational. It KILLS me to not be able to talk to people...and talk deeply. I want to scream, "I'm not this rude in English!!" I seriously like to REALLY know people, what makes them tick, what their passions are and what they feel their purpose is in life...their life story up until this point, etc. Even though I can communicate with people on a certain level now and we even have some friends who know English pretty well, it is nowhere near the "tell me your life story and what you want to accomplish before you die" level. I hate it. But, I'm getting there. It'll come...sooner or later...probably later. :)

Anyway, just a little glimpse into my world of language learning. Some neighbors stopped by the other night and we were talking in the driveway...in Portuguese of course. Joel said it was truly a "pinch me" moment for him. He was just looking at me thinking, "My wife, Michawn Madden, is speaking my language." :) Funny. I am so excited about being able to wear the label "bilingual" soon. I've always thought it was a cool thing to be bilingual. I never actually thought I would be one of those bilingual people, since I never thought I'd need to be. That wasn't something I was willing to do just for kicks...I'm the type of person that goes to a movie or something when I want to do something just for kicks. :) These people that learn a new language or take extra classes at college just for fun...yeah, I don't really get those people. :) That's just not my thing. Although, I have always wanted to learn sign language.

Anyway, I'm glad for this opportunity and will keep you posted. Just thought this might be interesting for some of you.

Time

It cracks me up when people tell me they don't have time to blog. I am guilty of doing the same thing. I have been known to tell people that I don't have time to scrapbook. What we really all mean is that we don't want to make the time for it...it is not a priority. For me and scrapbooking it is actually more than me not making that a priority...it would be a health hazard for me to do that. I would be pulling out my hair and screaming bloody murder before I got my first page done...talk about a tedious activity for moi. Obviously many people LOVE it...I am not one of those people.

But, back to the point...I'm sure that is what people mean to say, right? Surely they don't think that I am just swimming in free time around here. Let's see...

1. I have 3 small children
2. I'm pregnant with a 4th
3. I just moved to a different country...lots of adaptations to make and new things to learn
4. I'm learning a new language
5. I am responsible for keeping us fed which means meal planning, shopping, and the cooking
6. cooking involves much more creativity here...much more 'cooking from scratch'
7. cooking also means cleaning afterward...here that is also a bit more time-consuming since there are not dishwashers
8. I am responsible for keeping us clothed, which means making sure that our children's clothes fit, which means frequently (too frequently) going through closets, pulling non-fitting clothes out, finding in storage the fitting clothes, sorting through those, putting fitting clothes in the closets, organizing and storing the pulled-out clothes
9. that also includes laundry of course...here there are no 30 minute cycles on the washing machines...I am going Wonder Woman speed if I'm able to wash 3 loads a day (takes literally all day long to do that); of course that doesn't include drying, which is done by hanging on a line...much more time-consuming than throwing in a dryer
10. that also means folding/hanging the clean clothes back in the closets...time consuming for a family of 5
11. I am responsible for training and disciplining the children, while Joel isn't here that is (which is most of the time, as is the case for most daddies in the world due to work)...also very time-consuming; training them to put their toys away and how to do it, training them in working, training them in how to relate to each other, etc.

There is a plethora of different jobs I am responsible for. I'm sure you can ALL RELATE. You have some of the same responsibilities.

We all have choices as to how to spend our time that we do have when not fulfilling our duties. Some people get their nails done once a week...I don't do that. Some people have a weekly go-out-with-friends night...I don't do that. Some people get their hair done every month or 6 weeks...I haven't had my hair cut or trimmed since last December.

It seriously makes me smile when someone tells me they don't have time for this or that. I know I do it too...say the same thing sometimes about certain things. I'm sure I will continue to say that too...it's just what we say. But, really...what we all mean is that it's not a priority. I mean, we all literally have the same amount of time, right? Blogging is a priority for me, as I'm sure you can tell and understand. Since I am a pretty relational creature, I want to know about others and I want others to know about me...and be able to see my kids even if they don't see them in person often. Reading someone's blog is like being able to go have dinner with them and catch up with them, even though that's not really what I'm doing. I'd love to be able to do that, but obviously can't...not even possible even if I didn't live in Brasil.

Don't feel bad if you don't blog...that isn't what this is about. You do other things with your time. But, I just wanted to reassure you...I'm not sitting down here twiddling my thumbs, oozing with extra time. :) Just a clarification for you. It's all about priorities.

"Nosebleeds, Where Are You?"

Funny the things you say when you are pregnant.

With all of my pregnancies, I have had nosebleeds. People who haven't had nosebleeds with their pregnancies don't necessarily know that those are common since they've never had to google "nosebleeds during pregnancy" with a tissue stuck up their nose. :) But, they are common, and I always have them...at least 3-4 with each pregnancy.

Well, up until last week, no bleeding nose for me. But, thankfully last week it appeared. Again, funny. When else would I be happy about a nosebleed? But, when you are used to that being "the norm" for you, when it isn't happening, you start to wonder if all is well.

So, only one nosebleed for me, but that's O.K. At least I had one. :)

All seems to be going well. I am 20 weeks today...halfway there. We have yet to go to the doctor except that one visit when I was 13 weeks. It's hard to get an appt. scheduled actually. Obviously that is something that I would be in charge of in the states. But, here...Joel has to do it. He is at the hangar all day. Even when he is off for lunch, the dr.'s office people are too. He has to try to call during work or class at the hangar, which isn't always possible. He was finally able to do it this week...they were supposed to call him back and never did. So, all of that to say...we haven't made it back to the dr. Hopefully this week we will be able to schedule an appt.

The baby seems to be growing just fine. I have a VERY HEALTHY appetite to say the least. Actually, I'm not eating as much as with previous pregnancies, just because there's not as much to eat...no Macayo's or Papacita's or Olive Garden...you get my point. But, growth seems to be fine. At this point, I've gained about 9 pounds. Less than with the others at this stage, but then again, I started out about 10 pounds over this time...so right on track for my usual end-of-pregnancy weight. :)

I started feeling the baby around 13 or 14 weeks probably. Not consistently, but sometimes. Well, not only am I feeling it consistently now, in the past 2 weeks this baby has started the whole "let's try to punch our way through" thing. So, I can put my hand on my belly and feel the baby kicking...so fun. Amazing...I've been doing this non-stop for practically 4 1/2 years, but it never ceases to amaze me, the movements of the baby, the feeling of the baby kick on your hand, etc. Very, very cool.

Anyway, just a little update on pregnancy stuff. Someone told me I needed to talk more about that...it's true...haven't said that much about it. I will keep you posted on that subject though. I'll let you know about the doctor's appt. when it finally does happen. :)

Meltdown

I totally had a meltdown the other day. It lasted a matter of minutes...Joel was glad. But, here's the deal...

I NEED A VACATION! :) This is the time, the season in my life, where, if I was in the United States, I would get a few friends together to go do something. Take a mini-vacation, go somewhere for a weekend, etc. Why is it time? Here is a history of my "vacations" over the past 4 years.

--Grady spent the night away once in Phoenix. But, that was only because I was in labor with and birthing Hadley...not exactly downtime.
--The kids spending the night away didn't happen again until we lived in Saline, our last 6 months in the states. But, even then, we had Asa still since I was nursing.
--While we were spending time in the Boston area with Joel's family before we came here, we went on a little weekend getaway at a beach in the Cape Cod area I believe (I don't even remember the details). But, again...still nursing so little Asa was with us.
--After we got here, before Priscilla left to go back home, we spent the night in a hotel in Brasilia since Joel had to go there for some evaluations. Again...nursing...Asa there.

Before kids even, we didn't do any vacations. Our "vacations" were always spent going back to Louisiana or Boston to visit family. The only vacation we ever went on was our honeymoon. We have traveled ALOT, but always for visiting family, never for vacation. The last vacation I took with friends was, wow, I guess back in '99 when Fuller flew me, Sanja, and Carrie May in a little 4-passenger plane from Longview to Pensacola for a couple of nights. SO FUN. Seriously one of the best vacations ever. We camped in a campsite one night, slept on blankets on the beach the second night, ate at some great beachside restaurants for our suppers...ahh...now, that was relaxing.

Anyway, that's why it is time. It's not that I need time away from my kids. I truly love spending time with my kids. Even when I can go somewhere without them (to the store or whatever), I always end up taking at least one of them. I like them. They are fun to be with. They are NOT like that little boy in the European commercial. But, of course it is a lot of work taking care of 3 small children. That and taking care of the house (laundry, dishes, cleaning, cooking, sorting, etc.)...it's constant. You all know exactly what I mean. Everyone needs a vacation every now and then, right? I seriously have not been without a child or those work demands for 4 years now (before that if you count pregnancy). :)

Oh, Joel and I did come to Brasil without the kids. But, it was in no way a vacation. And technically I did still have a kid with me since I was 8 MONTHS PREGNANT. We had no downtime during our candidacy. The only downtime was on the planes and I was busy just trying to get comfortable and keep my feet and ankles from swelling to 4 times their actually size. :)

I had a dream last night that we lived in Phoenix again. I was getting ready to go to my friend, Julia's house. I was going to spend the night with her and just have a girls' 24 hours...relax, go out to eat, etc. I was really excited in my dream.

So, proposal: Asas (and all of Brasil) takes Dec. and Jan. off for vacation. Joel gets out Dec. 12th and doesn't go back until Feb. Craziness. He hopes to actually still do some flying during that time if possible. But...who of my close friends wants to fly down here and go on a vacation with me? There are some really great places around here...REALLY great. Come...relax...soak up some sun. Tempting isn't it? You know you want to.

I didn't grow up going on these extravagant vacations every single year. If we did go on vacation, sometimes it was just to Shreveport (60 miles away) to spend a night in a motel, swim in the pool, and eat breakfast at The Kettle. Good times. Or, we would trek to Houma to spend time with family. So, I'm not a person who is used to vacations on a regular basis or anything...and nothing major. Those were sufficient for us. Even now, I don't want/need something extravagant...just something.

It may not happen, and that will be O.K. We are pretty picky about who our kids stay with...in fact, just family is what we have decided. That'll be hard probably on the mission field, but that is just a "sacrifice" we'll make. That is extremely important to us. So, that means we are limited to family vacations only, or waiting until family comes down, or just going on vacations alone. :) I have actually thought about that...just going somewhere by myself. But, it's just not very practical at this point. We'll see what happens. I'll have to do something before March though...otherwise, another little nursing baby (which is something to be thankful for and I am...but, just a consideration for scheduling a vacation, you see).

Today happens to be a holiday for Brasil. So, my wonderful husband has given me the day off. I am in my bedroom, alone...sort of, most of the time. :) So, that's nice. I am still here, but I'm forcing myself to do as little as possible, even though it kind of throws things out of whack when I don't keep up everyday with the things that I need to do. It's still a nice break and gives me time to do other things that I need to do, like some Portuguese work, some communication follow-ups, etc. Not a vacation, but nice just the same.

Again, who wants to come take a vacation with me in January? :)

Voted Best Commercial in Europe

Pretty funny...scary, but funny. My pregnant friend posted it on her blog saying, "Am I really ready for parenthood?" :)